Are you the James Baldwin?

By joshjacksonmilb

By Josh Jackson / MiLB.com

Being teased over one’s name is a near-universal experience. No matter how straight-laced, how “Jane Smith,”-y or “Thomas Williams”-y your name is, chances are some little snot on the schoolyard found a way to make fun of it.

Unlike most of us, Minor League ballplayers never quite escape this ugly phenomenon. I won’t print here some of the things I heard intoxicated Brooklyn fans call Lucas Duda a few years back, but I assure you I haven’t forgotten.

Three prospects — three that I can think of; surely there are more — are especially likely to encounter problems if they pull out their American Express in a bookstore or try to use a library card.

“My middle school PE teacher was the first time I realized there was a writer with the name,” said Kansas City prospect Patrick Conroy. “He used to call me ‘The Author,’ and I said, ‘Why do you call me The Author?’ He said, ‘Are you serious?’”

As so often happens, Conroy came away from gym class with broader literary horizons.

“Since then, I’ve had a couple people ask,” he said. “Actually, during Spring Training, I was reading one of [Patrick Conroy’s] books, and there were some guys who came over and said, ‘Hey, your name is on the book.’

“I said, ‘Yeah, I wrote this.’ I’m not sure I ever corrected that for them,” he said. “There may be a couple Royals prospects somewhere who think I’m the same Patrick Conroy.”

Things haven’t been any easier for highly ranked Dodgers prospect James Baldwin, even though his eponymous father had an 11-year Major League career. It’s tough to compete with one of the iconic novelists, short story writers and essayists of the second half of the 20th century.

“Every time somebody looks me up they ask, and I’m like, ‘Um, that’s not me,’” Baldwin said. “Or, they ask, ‘Is that your grandfather or something?’ I say, maybe, but most likely not. Most likely not.”

Baldwin hasn’t had the chance to read any Baldwin.

“No, sir, but I definitely have to since we have the same name,” he said.

Maybe he’ll take a cue from Patrick Conroy (the ballplayer, not the novelist), and read some during Spring Training?

“Yeah,” he said, “or maybe during the offseason.”

The Reds’ top-ranked pitching prospect doesn’t even really have the same name as the author of Treasure Island — he’s Robert William Stephenson, not Robert Louis Stevenson — but that doesn’t stop yucksters.

“I’ve never read anything by him,” the hurler said, “but I’ve definitely heard the joke.”