The Unspoken Politics of Venmo
Which kind of annoying are you?
By Giana Milazzo
In the digital age, it’s presumably simpler than ever to manage your cash flow, but also easier than ever to get ripped off. And by ripped off, I mean something much more nuanced than falling for the “you earned a $2,500 cash prize!” spam e-mail or advertisement (though this might still be a v. realistic trap for grandparents on Facebook).
And as the great Notorious B.I.G. once said, “Mo Money Mo Problems.”
Money can easily affect relationships of all kinds — from friends to lovers to family — and sometimes it even causes serious divides and grudges. There’s layers to this stuff (i.e. I’m a feminist but I still want you to buy me dinner tonight), and transparency is key.
We all have that one friend who offers to buy you a birthday drink and then the next morning you wake up with a $20 Venmo request for splitting a round you didn’t partake in+ the appetizers you didn’t eat.
For those of you living under a rock, Venmo is a mobile payment service that allows people to transfer money easily. The phrase “I’ll Venmo you” has become a staple among friends and colleagues when splitting dinner bills, cab fares, beer runs, and more. But this easy-access app has also turned into yet another platform in which social etiquette and behaviors are exposed.
Take this moment for self-reflection. Search inside your soul and ask yourself: What type of Venmo user am I? Add your points to see how you fair.
The Forgetful Flake
This is the friend who promises to Venmo, but never does. “It might be easier if we just pay for this take-out with one card this time. I totally got you later.” [Insert pic of skeleton rotting b/c so much time has gone by.]
+1 point for being chill. -2 points for being a faker and costing everyone cash.
The Sneak Attack
If you’ve ever Venmo-charged someone without a prior mutually agreed upon deal (verbal or in writing), you’re guilty of the sneak attack. “I ordered wings for myself. You ate one. $6 seems fair?” If it was your idea, why should everyone else have to pay for it?
-1 for the surprise attack. +2 for being the first voted off happy-hour island and therefore making rezzies easier for the group.
Nitpicky Nancy
This is for the friend who Venmos you with exact change — that will be $22.24 for that makeup I bought you at CVS…
+1 for being detail oriented. -2 for being that girl. You know who you are.
The Unfair Trade
“I’ll get this Uber home for us if you buy my dinner? Might not be totally equitable, but that’s my offer.” This person is also voted most likely to forget including the tax and tip in their Venmo calculation and transfer to you.
+1 for sly creativity. -3 for being the newest addition to my hit list.
Congrats if you did the math, but here’s the truth: if you do any of these things you’ve already lost.
I like to consider myself an “I’ll get this one, you get that one” kind of money trader. It all comes out in the wash.
Understanding all the layers and insecurities when it comes to money — sometimes we just don’t have enough to cover your bill this time, or sometimes a vegetarian does not want to pay the same price when splitting a bill in which their meal was half the price.
I guess money matters, but try not to take it too seriously. Be kind. Pick up the check if you can. Share your wealth. It’s just a fake currency that we’ve made up, after all!
