Adhivāsanā: Day Eight — Understanding
I felt a wave of hellfire resonate throughout my entire being, like every ounce of blood in my body had been replaced with molten lead.
Emboldened by yesterday’s experience, I redoubled my efforts in my practice. I would revel in the current that seemed to permeate my body, and fire off waves of awareness around my body like sonar.
Goenka-ji described craving and aversion as the sources of all human misery. As I practiced throughout the morning, exploring new means of attaining bhanga, I realized that while I’ve never truly wrestled with aversion, I do have a bit of a craving problem. Even though Van had cautioned me against searching for a particular feeling, I continued to crave bhanga all afternoon, identifying it as the gateway to further progress.
I’d later learn the error of my ways.
Unfazed by the newfound challenges of the eighth day, understanding started to unravel. My thoughts had slowed to a crawl, like cargo ships passing one another in the night.
After lunch, I was again determined to continue my search. The afternoon group sit went swimmingly, and I was inspired to try sitting completely still for the second half of the afternoon — ninety minutes.
