Don’t Fake It ’Til You Make It

We always know when something is fake.

Yet, we have been told to “fake it til we make it” so many times.

I understand where this advice comes from — we know we will have better results if we appear more confident.

But faking it — APPEARING confident — is NOT the same as being confident.

When you fake it — we know it. The audience may not realize it consciously, but on some innate level they are feeling the rumble of bullshit. And that rumble will change the entire interaction.

When we fake it — we are perceived as insincere at best and liars at worst.


I remember this commercial series that used to make me utterly crazy — because it felt so off. It was FAKE — no matter how they tried to sell it.

SCENE:

  • A woman is in the kitchen, trying to cook pasta.

Pasta. Yes. Spaghetti.

  • First she struggles to carry the water filled pot to the stove.
  • Then she discovers the pasta will not fit in her pot without being broken. She breaks it and pasta flies everywhere. Her face is a study of misery and despair. (Oh, the humanity!)
  • Then she carries the cooked pasta to the sink and when she tips the opt into the strainer she sloshes hot water and pasta all over the sink and counter.

The message: We all have experienced how this pasta making experience is fraught (fraught, I tell you!) with woes and turmoil. Why is cooking pasta so hard!!!???!! I mean — who can’t relate?

Me. That’s who. This whole set up is utter bullshit.

See for yourself:

If we can’t fake it, then what?

Confidence is certainty and certainty comes from a place deep down which cannot be faked.

The good news is that today’s marketplace rewards authenticity. Try it. Admit you are not the expert. tell someone you don’t know the answer but that you will find it and get back to them.

Are you a new chiropractor? Emphasize what you DO know. You just got out of school? Awesome — this means you are up to speed on the very latest and it is fresh in your mind. This is your advantage. Own that.

It all comes down to this: CERTAINTY.

People are attracted to your certainty. Make a list of what you are certain of. Go deep. Truly map out your truth so you can lean into what you can do with certainty — without faking it a bit.

Then identify areas where you lack certainty and make a plan to upskill them one by one. Take an online class (there is a class for everything now — ya hear). Hire a coach. Do the work to level up, one step at a time.

The antidote to faking it is certainty.

Certainty lasts. Certainty grows as you pour into it. Double down on certainty.

Don’t fake anything. Don’t fake authority. Don’t fake experience. Don’t fake happiness. Don’t fake success. Don’t fake orgasms.

If you fake it — you may never get the real deal.


Hi. I’m Mary. I love storytelling, chiropractic, communication and marketing for millennials. And sailing. And coffee.

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