I THINK I MIGHT BE DEPRESSED
But shit, no one wants to know.
Woke up at 1:54 p.m. today.
Forgot to brush my teeth.
Promised myself to do it later.
Wish it was like a switch.
Wish it could be turned off so it could never be turned on again.
Still tired, somehow.
Tried to write, but everything came out shitty.
Suddenly, everything felt like a waste of time.
Felt like a waste of space; a waste of person.
Went to the doctor to get my eyes checked.
Left that box simply undone.
Wondered if it mattered.
Stopped responding to messages, especially those that asked, how are you? and you doing okay?
Forgot to brush my teeth again.
Figured that was the reason the dentist found four cavities in my mouth three months ago.
Told my mom; she didn’t believe me at first.
Started to feel a bit tired around 5 a.m.
Didn’t want to be this way, not anymore.
Laid on my bedroom floor.
Stared at the little circles of paint on the ceiling.
Wondered if the person who created them were happy, or barely scraping by, too.
Couldn’t tell you the difference between yesterday and the day before that. Wanted a friend to talk to, but drove them all away.
Saw the tunnel, but failed to see the light.
Failed to get the answers, at least, the important ones.
Ate leftover pizza for breakfast.
Fixed ice cream for dinner.
Justified that decision.
Developed another cavity, maybe.
Broke down in the middle of the grocery store because it all felt useless.
But shit, no one cares to hear why.
I fear I am going to just die of sadness.
About the Poet
Michaela Cotton is a graduate from the University of Virginia and is an aspiring law school student. Even though she is pursuing a career in the legal profession, she has held a passion for writing her entire life and most recently fell in love with writing poetry.
