Knot in a Quantum

What do you think of me?”
Simple it sounds, doesn’t it?
But how should I compress
a million thoughts and feelings,
to just a few words for thee?
How can I even be sure
the mystery is of those feelings
or the anxious usual in me?

Why do I feel like saying,
“I just want you to be happy” something and,
make you feel special
after you said,
“I love your thinking”?
If at all through these words,
these so imperfect but conveying,
those I find so hard to let go?

Now I wonder,
am I a knot in the quantum -
entangling mysteries to
create complex normalities?
Or a phobic of random,
mostly if not always,
like trying to sense
the waters around,
before going in?

Why can’t I just say,
“I’m still trying to understand,
apart from few things I already know about
what I think of you”,
which I’ve told you already?

And, why now do I care so much for words?
Don’t I throw them around casually,
like “slice of life” fudges in a comedy?
Now that I think about it,
I did that very thing in the end, didn’t I?
No, the coldness on the outside
may perhaps be damning but
one shouldn’t try to feel the waters when
they’re fiery hot right?

Oh, the dichotomies of the non ideal!
When words have no meaning,
does one seek pointless vain and,
more pain it conceives;
And if the wholeness of the soul inside
derives a few sounds for its world outside-
like withered leaves they are,
forever lost in the abyss.