life : crisis : life
I wrote this poem when I celebrated my 25th birthday on September 2016. I still feel the need to read it every now and then. Its title is stylized that way.
If I were to make an equation for this thing called quarter life crisis it would probably be this:
Spend two decades building yourself up
Muster up all the grit, spirit, enthusiasm that you can get
Create this cabinet for your achievements, five layers high, a full arm span wide
But now what you have is just empty one; so what have you done?
You look through the glass panels and the absence of something — anything, those things — reminds you of deadlines you’ve missed and plans that did not materialize
Adjust your gaze a little bit and you can see your reflection speak through your eyes
It’s not that you don’t have anything to put in it
But the spot is reserved and you just don’t see a substitute
It’s not really failure, I guess
Maybe it’s falling short
of your self-imposed standard of fulfillment and success
of worldly goals that no one told you to address
And for 24 years you thought you have understood its meaning, but life is much more bigger that that
25…
It’s the conflicting point where your idealism fuels you enough to make you believe you are powerful and able
But realities of life slam you to the ground and you just lay there; you think you are crippled
25 is probably about balance
25 is probably about keeping it together no matter how life is pulling you apart
Scary as it may seem, 25 is probably about limitation in contrast to the things that made you feel infinite
There should be honor when you already know when to say, “I’m not sure anymore, I don’t know.”
That’s the time you come into your senses
I don’t know what the Universe has to say, is saying, or has already said
But right now I’m listening, seeing, feeling more than ever
And at this very moment, out of all the inspirational quotes and mental notes that I kept so dearly
The safest thing to hold on to is that life goes on
It doesn’t wait for you to get it
It has no time to adjust for your struggles
Because when they call it “quarter life crisis”, it’s just a convenient way to label a period of life relatable to almost everyone
It would make it easier to signal, “Ah okay, so here we are.”
So where are the hands of time pointing at right now?
You might have forgotten but it’s the same with your pubescent years
At midlife you’ll probably get a new set of issues and fears
You’ve heard “seven-year itch”
“Life begins at 40…”
“Senior moments” or golden years
And yes, this thing is there even on your death bed
Crises…
It’s the push and pull forces
science and faith
determination and insecurities
dreams and nightmares
you and others
But as long as you exist and choose to be alive
As long as you live and choose to feel
Keep on moving and don’t stall at twenty-five
You can romanticize that figure but don’t think other life periods are not as equally earth-shattering
Life is indeed a crisis or is it the other way around?
I’m not sure, I don’t know
But hey, you’re just twenty-five
And crises are signs of life
Just carry on…
This poem is originally written and best appreciated as a spoken word. I have a video performance of this on my Youtube channel — Shared By Andrew B
Andrew Beso is a Manila-based content creator who is exploring different ways of sharing art — whether it be written, spoken, and visualized. Aside from being in Medium, his work can also be seen on Youtube, Instagram, and Tiktok.
He is using his undergraduate and master’s degree in Economics and Political Economy, respectively, in discussing social issues through creative expressions.
