Three reasons why you should write a will sooner than later
The other day my wife and I sat down to write our will. It’s something we didn’t think about until we had our first child a year ago, but after going through the exercise it’s something I would have liked to do earlier.
I am an optimist by nature so one of my biases is not to spend too much cognitive energy planning for worst case scenarios. That said, after spending a few hours on this and meditating on some pretty meaningful decisions, I felt like it was such a valuable process and one that I’d recommend everyone try out.

Writing a will is a powerful tool for self-discovery three reasons:
1. It reminds you who is most important in your life
It’s all too easy to get caught up in what others think about us and live our lives to gain the recognition and approval people who may not know us well (e.g. acquaintances, random colleagues, or followers on social media). This is partially due to evolution given that we are deeply social creatures and also due to the rise of social media that has introduced another deep desire for safety — albeit virtual and psychological.
Writing a will forces you to name individuals who matter most to you through the proxy of allocation of your financial resources. Money is an objective and measurable unit that will help you quickly identify who matters to you most and, perhaps more importantly, who needs you most. Yes, we all know that money is not the most important thing in the world and that this system isn’t perfect (e.g. what if my brother is very important but he is a billionaire and doesn’t need money?), but it is good tool, nonetheless. You may also notice that those who you truly care most about aren’t those that you spend precious energy worrying about on a daily basis.
Question: if you had $10M to give away to specific people, who would you give it to, how much would you give to each person, and why did you choose these people?
2. It helps clarify what legacy you want to leave
A question many young professionals in their 20’s and early 30’s think about is how to create a meaningful life. The challenge with answering this question is that it is easy to conflate shorter term hedonic happiness (e.g. pleasure of the senses through buying stuff, traveling somewhere, eating something really good) and eudaimonic happiness as found through a life of meaning and self-actualization.
Writing a will can help you uncover what’s most meaningful to you by forcing you reflect on which causes or communities you want to give back to. Let’s assume you have enough money to take care of your loved ones comfortably and you had extra money to give away, not to individuals, but to a maximum of three non-profit organizations that focus on solving a specific societal, environmental, or institutional challenge. What causes would you want to support and, more importantly, why? There is no shortage of problems to solve so this thought exercise will force you to dig a deeper and figure out what you care most about. If you want to go one step deeper ask yourself how your career currently aligns with what problems resonate most with you. This is an area where many, including myself, may find incongruency that will require either a change of careers or a change in attitude towards one’s work.
Question: if you had $1M to give away to three causes and communities how would you allocate this and why? Does your current career align with any of these areas?
3. It reminds us that life in impermanent
When I first sat down to create my will it was a pretty depressing exercise. The lawyer started several clarification questions with “In the unlikely scenario that both you and your wife were to die…” or “In the tragic case that you and your wife were not around to take care of your children…”. That said, it was such a sobering reminder that our time on earth is limited and our lives here are temporary.
Memento Mori, a term that I first heard from Tim Ferris, is an ancient practice of reflection on mortality that dates back to 399BC. When you are able to reframe your mortality into something positive, not depressing, it is a powerful way to create priority and form a better perspective on life.
In his masterful 2005 Stanford commencement speech, Steve Jobs’ eloquently summed this up:
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
Writing a will is a useful exercise to remind ourself that our time is limited and we shouldn’t make assumptions that we will live until we are well into our eighties let alone make it until our next birthday. Take some time to reflect on our frailty, but not so much so that it paralyses you from taking action and enjoying every passing moment.
Question: if you had 1 year to live how would you live and what would you do differently? What action can you take today to live a fuller life?

