Children Deserve The Truth About College Education
To set our children up for success, we deliver them some hard truths. You must work hard to get good grades in school or else you will not be accepted to a good university. If you do not get accepted to a good university, you will not get a good job. If you do not get a good job, you will be unsuccessful. If you are unsuccessful, you will be unhappy.
We send this message to our children because we believe we are helping them; but what if the opposite is true? What if telling them the truth — that acceptance to a prestigious university is not the be-all-end-all of happiness, that success can come in many forms, even without a college degree — would in fact set them up for a greater learning experience and more well-adjusted future career?
In the Time article, It’s Time to Tell Your Kids It Doesn’t Matter Where They Go to College, William Stixrud tackles these very questions, with a firm and resounding answer — we must give children the absolute truth. He believes that a child’s grades are not an indicator of success, and neither is the university they attend or graduate from.
“So why don’t we tell our kids the truth about success?” says Stixrud. “We could start with the fact that only a third of adults hold degrees from four-year colleges. Or that you’ll do equally well in terms of income, job satisfaction and life satisfaction whether you go to an elite private college or a less-selective state university. Or that there are many occupations through which Americans make a living, many of which do not require a college degree.”
He’s right. As much as we would like to believe that working hard in school can grant a one-way ticket to satisfaction and happiness, the truth is that things are not so simple.
How many college graduates are working side by side with non-grads at minimum wage jobs? How many college graduates are saddled with so much debt, they cannot afford to start their lives?
These are not rhetorical questions — the studies are out there, and the results are sad, but undeniable. A college education, even from the most prestigious of universities, does not guarantee success; it does not guarantee happiness.
So, what are parents supposed to do? If the goal is in fact happiness and success, then it’s time to start being honest with children. While some may fear this will lead to underachieving and a lack of motivation in school, evidence suggests the opposite is true.
Telling children that grades equal success sets up a limiting paradigm. It teaches children who struggle in school that they will never be successful — a lesson that can leave kids wondering why they should even try if their grades have set their fate in stone? Meanwhile, children who are high-achievers are beset with unnecessary anxiety and a false sense of security — a lesson that may leave them resentful and hurt if all that hard work does not pay off the way they were told in the end.
Conversely, allowing children the knowledge that education does not exist in a vacuum and that success can come from many avenues can actually bolster learning. In fact, education should be about encouraging curiosity and creativity, creating an environment for enrichment and developing a love of lifelong learning. At Mind Foundry, it is important to us that each of our students receives the critical thinking skills and digital literacy for them to succeed, no matter if they pursue higher education or not.
As Stixrud explains, “In my 32 years of working with kids as a psychologist, I’ve seen that simply telling kids the truth — giving them an accurate model of reality, including the advantages of being a good student — increases their flexibility and drive. It motivates kids with high aspirations to shift their emphasis from achieving for its own sake to educating themselves so that they can make an important contribution. An accurate model of reality also encourages less-motivated students to think more broadly about their options and energizes them to pursue education and self-development even if they aren’t top achievers.”
It’s time to help children reach success by giving them all the necessary tools — encouragement, diversity, and honesty about college and the varied and sometimes untraditional ways that success and happiness can be achieved.
