Cookie Monster Under My Bed
Three times I gave up to Cookie Monster and once I resisted
“Have this nice little cookie.” Cookie Monster whispered.
“I’m trying to give up on sweets.”
“Nah, you’re going to fail anyway.”
It was a sunny afternoon at the office. Despite telling my coworkers that I didn’t eat sweets, I suddenly found myself… chewing a red velvet cake.
“Where did it come from?” I asked while chewing.
“It’s my birthday.” My coworker Alex yelled.
I respected Alex. How could I resist?
“You’re going to fail.” Cookie Monster confidently repeated.
Three years into my office job, I decided to change tactics. If I don’t have anyone teasing me with sweets, Cookie Monster won’t find me.
So I became a remote employee of a proud startup. I never had sweets at home, so Cookie Monster couldn’t reach me.
Where was the catch?
I felt isolated, despite it being three years prior to COVID. As soon as I had a business trip to see my coworkers, guess who appeared?
“Have this one. Once a quarter. I won’t tell anyone.” Cookie Monster was back.
Even with coworkers all around me, I was still trying to isolate myself.
“You’re going to fail anyway.” Thanks, Cookie Monster, very supportive.
During the COVID lockdown, I went grocery shopping once a week.
“Buy ice cream. It’s going to be a long and sad week.” Reminded Cookie Monster.
Sometimes I would, and sometimes I resisted. But every time I closed my eyes to meditate and ease out of the lockdown…
“You want pistachio ice cream…”
My mind was picturing this ice cream. A light green substance was dripping from the cone.
“Come on, you’re going to fail.”
Suddenly, something changed.
“OK. I will have it, but later.” I nodded. And Cookie Monster didn’t know how to respond.
So this was me a week ago, having a nice long walk.
“You want ice cream.” Whispers Cookie Monster.
“OK. I’ll wait till the next supermarket.” I responded.
This is how I question my mind:
Here’s the deal: If I still want the ice cream by the time I pass by the second shop, I’ll buy it. Ninety percent of the time, I won’t.
Cookie Monster was chasing me, and I thought I must have hidden from it. When I finally stopped and questioned my wishes, Cookie Monster turned into a soft toy. Now it’s just a memory.
“Where do you see yourself in five years?” Have you ever struggled with fitting into society?
