Have You Heard About The Golden Bridge?
The difference between who you are right now and who you want to be mean creating and crossing the “Golden Bridge”
The Golden Gate Bridge is 2737 metres long (1.7 miles) and it looks beautiful. I’d like to travel to San Francisco to walk across it one day. Take in the scenery, enjoy the breeze and the crashing of the waves as the traffic flows past me in both directions. Looking up at the towers, without getting an ache in my neck. I’m fascinated by being able to see what human potential can achieve. It reminds me of the journey’s we all face in achieving anything we desire in life in regards to Health, Finance, Business, Love and Happiness among other things.
Anything we wish to achieve in life usually requires going on some sort of journey to acquire it. Very rarely do we find what we want or what we are looking for is right in front of us, requiring very little effort to attain it. Despite not being easy, not every journey is an epic quest of trials, hardship, self-discovery and overcoming insurmountable odds to defeat the villain and save the day.
What I can say for achieving fitness, health, lifestyle, or behavioural (habits) transformation. You may come to learn that you will go through trials and temptation. You will find it hard, and self-discovery will be a part of your journey. Your odds may not be insurmountable, and the only villain that you will need to overcome is yourself.
Spiritual thought minister and author Michael Benard Beckwith says:
Often times, people are trying to change their world, whilst they remain the same. That’s not possible.
The idea here is rather than looking externally at the things that you’re unhappy with and trying to change them. You look internally to change the person that you are and how you’re living your life. Changing who you are now to the person that you want to be is what creates everlasting change. This is what I call creating your Golden Bridge. The bridge that makes the gap between you and your desired outcome irrelevant.
Who Are You Right Now?
Marcus is a 40-year-old father of 3 and married to Lisa. Marcus wears a size 38 waist, drinks alcohol most days of the week and eats more or less whatever he likes. He works in the City of London, commuting to work by train which takes 45 minutes per journey. He spends most of his days in his office, in meetings, with clients or on calls to international clients and partners. All the while he is mainly sat down during these daily activities. Over the years, Marcus’ body shape changed and his self-confidence has plummeted but he’ll never admit that publicly. He doesn’t run around with his kids as much as he used to, and he and Lisa have sex once or twice a month at best. Marcus wants to feel better about himself and his health. Diets don’t last and the new shiny juicer he bought is more a part of the kitchen’s aesthetic appeal rather than a useful kitchen appliance.
Reading the case study it may seem easy to suggest what Marcus needs to change in his life to see a positive outcome but this story has been told a million times. “I know what I need to do, I’m just not doing it or can’t stick to it”.
Changing the external factors will only get Marcus so far. A diet, an exercise regime, being more romantic and relighting the spark in the bedroom are all small parts to address his issues in isolation. These gestures won’t lead to long term change if he still holds on to the ideals of his current identity. The old ideals are what yo-yo dieting, stop-start fitness programs and falling off the wagon are all attributed to. It’s hard to stay consistent when you have an internal conflict between the behaviours you need to implement versus the behaviours you want to follow.
Who You Need To Become
Marcus’ success in transforming his waist size, his self-confidence, his relationship, sex life and energy to play with his kids requires a change of identity. This shift is what happens when your friends say “You’ve changed”. It’s easy to be modest and say I’m the same old me, but you’re not.
Rather than just change the external elements, Marcus will be more successful by changing the identity that he holds. Choosing to be a different man and then figuring out what are the things that he needs to do to support the new identity.
The Process
If you want to change your identity to become a writer, you need to learn and understand what are the required habits of the best writers in the world. Use their example to create your processes of change to become a successful writer. One of these processes may be to write every day at a similar time of day when your creative energy is flowing freely. The same applies to Marcus and his health and fitness.
Ask Yourself Questions
What do healthy people do?
How do healthy people live?
What do they eat?
Who do they spend most of their time with?
Health-conscious individuals workout regularly. This can be through random exercise selection or by following a training plan. This is an uncompromised trait of a physically healthy person. Working out every day is a bit extreme to some people, but getting started is a step in the right direction. The intention to adjust and improve is a good start to building the Golden Bridge. The habits of a healthy and fit person include rest and good nutrition just as much as working out. The focus isn’t about going on a diet or following a trend seen on Instagram. Reducing late nights because they are harmful to health and cutting out processed foods because they’re inflammatory, shifts the reasons behind the change in behaviour. The reasons are focused on something bigger and more meaningful than losing weight, burning fat, or needing to get into a pair of 10-year-old jeans.
Your environment is important because the people who you are around the most will influence your identity. Imagine you spend 5 days a week for a whole month surrounded by health-conscious people who eat well, sleep well, work out regularly and are focused on taking care of their bodies. Your behaviour will soon follow a similar pattern and your mental and physical identity would change. The same goes for 5 days a week for a whole month surrounded by people who drink, smoke, order takeaway, and eat processed food most nights of the week. The results show in your health and vitality both physically and mentally.
Create Your Golden Bridge
Figuring out who you are and where you are right now is the first step to creating your Golden Bridge. The next step is to then identify what you are not doing in your life that the person you want to become would be doing every day. This creates the gap, the list of things that separate who you are from the person that you want to be. Now that you’ve figured out the first two steps; Realisation and Identification. You must now address the third and final step — Transformation.
Transformation is the hard part. There will be a lot of resistance but the difference between changing your identity and changing a few things in your life for an outcome is your purpose. Strength of purpose and your desire is a combination that is much stronger than a feeling of laziness or unwilling. There will be days where you will be tempted to down tools and not feel like working out. There will be days where you will want to indulge, relax, have a beer and a burger. This is not a problem because these occasions have now become the break from your “new normal”. These days are now the exception and not the rule.
Realisation, Identification and Transformation. These are the two towers and the road that create your Golden Bridge. Remember that it’s about the things that you do, it is who you want to be. Live your life so you never have to be worried about the gap or the long fall down into the water.
The fall into the water below the Golden Gate Bridge is 220 feet. I’d rather not thanks.
