Three Powerful Lessons My Husband’s Cancer Taught Me About Life.
Timeless lessons on facing adversity
“The best education we can ever receive is from the University of Adversity. It’s the only institute of learning that rewards us when we fail.”
― Jason Versey, A Walk with Prudence
With the hectic pace of today’s world, we easily get caught up in the busyness of life.
We are forever stressed, overwhelmed, running errands, attending to work, rushing to the office, and stuck in traffic jams.
Our minds are swirling with thoughts, and we have no control over them. We do not even think to press the pause button and hear the body whisper.
The bones creak, and joints scream for attention, but we don’t care. There is a lot of work and many mountains to climb. The to-do list never ends, and goals remain goals forever.
Life is so fragile
“I sometimes forget that life is fragile. The fact that I have more time to dream my dreams and take my ease is no reason at all to disregard the moment I’m in by preferring to be somehwere else. I have to remind myself that wherever I am..fast lane or slow lane,in traffic or out of traffic, racing or resting…God is there. He is in me,abiding in me, thus making it possible for me to be all there myself. ” Luci Swindoll.
My husband and me were in the fast lane ,racing to meet our goals. Until one day, everything came to a screeching halt, and we were forced to pause. My husband had neglected his back pain for several months. One fine morning, he was no longer able to walk without support. His diagnosis was a life-fracturing moment for us.
Moments like this make you realize that life can be so fragile. It can be destroyed instantly, and you would have no control over it.
My husband was diagnosed with spinal deformities and kidney cancer.
He underwent multiple surgeries , which meant extended hospital stays, heavy doses of medications, and being bedridden for more than six months. Doctors had no hopes that he would walk again.
The diagnosis and what followed changed the entire course of our life. Here was a change that was challenging to manage for my husband as a patient and me as a caregiver.
During the course of his treatment, until the time he was back on his feet, we needed a lot of mental and physical strength. We had our family support, which helped us face this challenge.
Today when I look back on the challenging times, they made us strong.
You cannot control life, but don’t surrender to it either.
Life throws you into such situations; what makes you come out of it solely depends on your thoughts. If you remain strong and are clear about your priorities at the moment, you get the strength to face such difficulties.
As a caregiver, the first thing I had to do was to have a lot of patience. Resilience and patience have today become the most valuable assets for me. It changed my outlook on life.
My husband overcame this adversity by sheer grit and determination. His strong belief in God gave him the courage to sail through this phase. His doctors were pleasantly surprised when they saw him walk without any support ,into their consulting room a year later. They had no hopes that he would be able to walk without an aid.
There are many things to learn from how he looked at this setback.
Today when I provide life coaching to my clients, I can empathize with and help them talk about their priorities and goals. This emotional journey has prepared me to understand and help my clients better.
“Sometimes the uncomfortable things in life are there to teach us lessons because to go through a change of habit, we need to feel uncomfortable.”
— Mo Seetubtim
Three important lessons
- You have to make your health your priority. This means you have to take deliberate pauses in your hectic schedules and listen to what your body has to say. Nothing is more important than that.
- Reflect and find out what matters to you. Career, wealth, and material possessions can become glaringly insignificant in the face of severe health issues.
- There is a lot of noise in our lives. Learn to filter and do things that matter to you.You cannot control many things in your life, but you can control your attitude towards them. If you don’t, then life can start controlling you.
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”
― Maya Angelou
