3 Ways to Know If You Are Resistant or Resilient

Two personal traits that look alike much yet so different.

Begüm Erol
Feb 20 · 4 min read
Photo by Andrew Neel from Pexels

Sometimes the reason why we can’t move forward in the direction we want is our attitude towards what’s happening in our lives.

At moments of disappointment or challenges, we think we’re insisting on our goal but what we do in reality is to resist the alternatives that life offers us.

If you’re not managing unexpected moments with grace or the way you handle crisis doesn’t get you where you want, you might need to embrace resilience instead of resistance.

Here is how to know the difference between these two personality traits.

1. You Change Plans When Needed

Giving up might feel like a failure and passive behavior. But if it’s a change of action to get where we want to be it can be pretty rewarding. Because when we accept our current unexpected situation, we lean into embracing all emotions and trusting that we will step up when it’s right.

We open the doors to new possibilities as we’re flexible to grow more in where we’re.

“Failure is just success rounded down, my friend!” — Ryan North

A study shows that people who learn from their mistakes tend to put more effort into what they do or manage problem-solving by learning and figuring out the issue.

This wouldn’t be the case if we resist failures. We wouldn’t even try our best in the first place as we were afraid to mess it up or worried about what others would tell behind us.

Amend your plans if needed. We have less control over life than we expect. There are 7.8 billion people out there. Considering everything is possibly connected to one another, a small change would continue like a domino and end up affecting us.

Instead of asking why is this happening to me, ask what does it try to teach me?

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

2. You Embrace Vulnerability as a Strength

When we’re too much in our heads and build a wall between ourselves and others, we live isolated. Everything we go through makes us tougher but not necessarily stronger.

Instead, when we’re vulnerable and share our stories with others, we create intimate connections. We also know that everybody goes through similar situations from time to time and we see them as an inspiration for resilience.

We ask for help when we need it and don’t suffer in silence. Because we know that those experiences don’t make us sensitive but strong as we’re resilient to handle them openly without shame.

At difficult times, nurture yourself and invest in your social relationships rather than isolation. We don’t have to manage everything alone including big emotions.

3. You Are Confident Alone and with Others

Confident people don’t break down when there’s criticism from outside. They’re open to improvements knowing what their blind spots are. This makes them resilient to unexpected situations.

In the same way, confident people don’t break down if they face their true selves. They don’t avoid spending time alone and watching their minds. Their thoughts wouldn’t scare them away as they can mindfully sit in silence with their thoughts.

If you resist feedback and negative thoughts you hear in your head, you might be projecting your insecurities onto the criticism you receive. A mindful response to constructive criticism is to separate ourselves from the comment. It’s about how we behave and not an attack on who we’re.

Receiving criticism isn’t always easy. But once we embrace constructive criticism as a tool to thrive more, we gain resilience by overcoming our shadows. We even appreciate those people who filled in the dots with their guidance.

To Sum up

There’s a very thin line between resistance and resilience. While one makes us stronger, the other prevents us from moving forward in life.

Embrace resilience at difficult times by sharing your emotions and experiences with others. It’s okay to ask for help when we need it. We don’t have to be the only hero in our story.

Stay flexible if things go unexpected. How do we know what we face won’t bring us closer to what we asked for?

Grow your confidence by separating constructive criticism from your personality. Take the advice and focus on your goal.

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