4 Common Qualities of Happy People
Cultivate these four qualities for a happier life.
As we go through life, it seems we’re always chasing something. A new job or promotion, more money, a car or house, a husband, wife or child. If we’re fortunate, our basic needs are met, and these are the things we find ourselves chasing.
By now, we’ve all heard that things don’t lead to happiness. We’ve seen the signs that say “Happiness is not a destination; it’s a way of life.” And yet, through all of our chasing, what we’re looking for is that feeling of satisfaction, achievement, or happiness.
So what if we could stop chasing? What if we could completely let go of all the things we’re spinning our wheels on and just simply be happy?
While the steps to setting goals seem clear, the steps to finding happiness can seem somewhat elusive. If it were that easy, wouldn’t we all just be happy?
Perhaps. So where do we begin? Well, we can start by looking at the people that already are happy. In my life, I’ve noticed that there are four common qualities amongst truly satisfied people. Strengthening these ideas in our daily mindset can help us lead happier lives.
1. A Deep Trust in the Universe
When I had my first reflexology appointment several years ago, my practitioner asked me, “What do you trust?”. I had no idea what she was talking about. Trusting “the process” and flow of life was a concept with which I was unfamiliar.
Now I get it.
When you trust the process, your path, your journey, it’s harder to become upset when things don’t go your way.
When you trust the universe, you know that whatever happens is for a reason and is precisely what is meant to happen. This concept is highly spiritual. If you’re not that way inclined, feel free to replace “the universe” with God, or energy, or spirit, or whatever language resonates with your belief system.
In the past, I’ve tended to get overly hung up on the way certain situations played out in my life. Whether it was a career decision, a relationship, or things I did or did not prioritize, it’s easy to look back and criticize the way you’ve lived your life. Hindsight is always 20/20, right?
When you trust in the universe, however, there is no room to second guess the path that you’re walking. You know that everything is meant to be, and you move forward with faith and trust that you’re in exactly the right place.
2. Happy People Look For the Opportunities in Everything That Happens
The good, the bad, and the ugly: there’s a gift in everything.
This is easy to recognise when something goes your way. But when things don’t, it can be far too easy to get caught up in automatic negative thinking patterns and feel the world is working against you.
So when there isn’t an apparent gift, look for a lesson. If you’ve made a mistake but learned something and can grow from it, the experience is not a waste. It made you stronger and better prepared to face the same challenge next time.
Sometimes identifying a lesson is enough for us to move on. Other times, even when we find that lesson, we still feel discouraged. Couples break up, colleagues quit, and bad things happen to good people. If you’re struggling to reconcile with negative experiences in your life, remember that the gift may not always look like a gift at first — or it may even present itself years down the line.
In other cases, we may never know the alternative scenario, so we’re forced to accept the hand we’ve been dealt as a gift. For example, my dad passed away when I was 29. I regret not being there with him, and now he’ll never see me get married or have kids.
I’ve learned many lessons from this situation, but the gift can still be hard to identify. If he hadn’t passed away, what would have happened? His illness may have cost a lot more pain and difficulty. It could have put even more of a strain on everyone in my family. We’ll never know the alternative. In any case, happy people actively choose to accept such situations as the right thing to have happened.
3. Happy People Bring a Sense of Purpose and Presence to Everything They Do
A good friend of mine often describes his life as “going through the motions.” I understand what he means, but it makes my heart heavy, and I can’t help but think that it’s such a hard way to go through life.
Sometimes we feel so obliged to do things we don’t want to do that we do them without any passion or presence whatsoever.
Now, I’m not saying he’s unhappy, but in contrast, happy people choose to be actively engaged in everything they do in life. They stay present. They show up even when they don’t want to. They see the purpose of what they’re doing and focus on the reason for their actions.
There is a reason companies have values and mission statements. There needs to be a clear why to motivate and drive the team. It is the same with humans at an individual level. We need to understand why we’re doing what we’re doing. When we lose meaning in our daily actions, we lose the active engagement that makes us feel alive.
If you’re feeling bogged down with an endless list of mundane “obligations,” take a moment to step back. Write all of your obligations down and identify the why. If you can’t align with a purpose and do that activity with active presence, then stop doing it.
Ask yourself, how are you showing up to life? With purpose? Or on autopilot?
4. Happy People Allow Themselves to Be Guided by Passion
There are a lot of things society thinks we should do. We should go to school; we should choose a career, we should get married and have a family. We should take risks, but not too many. We should be different, but not too different. And we should be happy about all the boxes we’ve checked along the way.
Eventually, if our family and social circles also have these expectations, we’ll likely accept them as our own. The problem is, if we don’t check all of these boxes, we feel like a failure. Or worse yet, we may check all these boxes and then realise we weren’t in alignment with our genuine passion the whole time.
Over the last year, I have learned such a simple and invaluable lesson. Follow your passion.
It’s literally that simple. If an activity sparks excitement within you, follow it. If you’re curious about a new skill or opportunity, go after it. Do you already know that thing you would do full time for free if you could? Do it.
I’ve spent so much time trying to just “figure it all out”, and I suspect I’m not the only one. Let go of what you think you should do. You may need to stop thinking altogether. Instead, look inward. Get in touch with what it is that lights you up. All you have to do is more of that.
Let those sparks of joy guide you through life. Make decisions based on what will enable you to do more of what you love and feel more sparks of joy.
Don’t overlook the fact that your joy can eventually bring challenges too. Writing code may bring you joy, but keeping up with the industry can be challenging. The difference is the energy you bring to the table when solving those challenges.
When you’re in alignment with what brings you joy, you’re happy to put in the extra time, not resentful of it.
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