5 Powerful Ways to Boost Your Confidence Forever
“Standing tall” isn’t a technique that can last forever.
Nobody is born confident.
That’s right, to all you naysayers out there, confidence is without a doubt a skill that takes time to develop.
To re-word former NFL coach Vince Lombardi’s famous quote on leadership:
“Confidence isn’t born, it is made. It is made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal which is worthwhile.”
It goes without saying that the goal of developing your confidence is entirely worth your while.
I mean, why wouldn’t you want to face the challenges of life with your best foot forward?
Why wouldn’t you want to strike up a conversation with a stranger, knowing that it might lead to a friendship, a relationship or even a new business idea?
When you live a life of confidence, you live a life that is open to new opportunities, beginnings and adventures.
Said differently,
“When you have confidence, you can do anything.”– Sloane Stevens
With that in mind, here are 5 tricks that if applied, will boost your confidence, and most importantly, will do so forever.
1. Why Are the Best Employees Always Glowing?
“Confidence. If you have it, you can make anything look good. ” — Diane Von Furstenberg
Think of someone you know who is good, no, great, at their job.
They’re oozing with confidence, right?
Well, I can assure you, they weren’t always like this. They didn’t always carry a big label across their forehead reading, “I’m a boss and you know it.”
It took hours of hard work, dedication, and commitment to get them to their current state of confidence. Which nicely leads us towards our first point:
To build lasting confidence, find what you’re good at and become great at it.
You might already be awesome in a chosen field. Perhaps you’re a talented guitarist, an exceptional cook, or an amazing writer. Or maybe you too are awesome at your job.
If so, spend more time excelling in these areas.
Eventually, people will begin to take notice. And when they do, you’ll channel the confidence this recognition brings towards becoming even better at what you do.
In other words, you begin to create a positive feedback loop whereby the more you excel in a chosen area, the more confident you become.
Becoming confident is about generating positive feedback loops in your life.
2. You Have a Beautiful Smile (When You Decide to Show It)
“The world always looks brighter from behind a smile.”– Unknown
Seriously friends, we’ve got to start smiling more.
I know, I know, there’s a lot to be depressed about in life — our financial struggles, broken relationships, the TV remote running out of batteries.
But that doesn’t mean we should stay grumpy every second of our lives. There are plenty of opportunities to showcase a smile every now and then.
If somebody greets you “good morning” as you sit next to them on the bus, respond with a smile. If a stranger leaves the door open for you as you enter, respond with a smile.
And if smiling doesn’t come naturally to you, fake it. I’m serious, we need to get into the habit of flexing our jaws more often.
At this point, we’ve stumbled onto another feedback loop:
By smiling more, you enlarge your aura of positivity. In turn, you feel better about yourself. This makes you feel more confident, giving you another reason to smile. And so the pattern continues.
3. Let’s Put an End to Your “Sorry Syndrome”
Do you utter the word “sorry” mid-way through a sentence, even when you have nothing to be apologetic about?
Here’s what this typically looks like:
“Hey, can I ask a favour … sorry if I’m disturbing you by the way.”
Or my favourite, “Sorry to be an inconvenience, are you free to chat?”
The tendency to overuse the word “sorry” is often referred to as the “sorry syndrome”.
And sure, you might think this appears polite at first glance.
But really, you’re slowly eating away at your inner confidence — especially if you’ve been doing this for years.
By excessively apologising when you speak, you’re sending frequent signals to your brain that say, “hey, you’ve done something wrong again”.
Now let’s be clear, there are absolutely times when you should say sorry. And in those instances, you’re better off doing so straight away.
But generally speaking, you should reserve your apologies for the moments where saying sorry actually has meaning.
Give yourself the freedom to communicate openly without apologising excessively. It will do wonders to your confidence.
4. Balance Your Appearance With Respect
“Remember, your appearance “talks.” Be sure it says positive things about you. Never leave home without feeling certain you look like the kind of person you want to be.” — David Schwartz, PhD, ‘The Magic of Thinking Big’
This sounds obvious, but if you’re going around town wearing torn sneakers, trousers with pasta sauce stains, and a shirt that’s missing 4 out of 6 buttons, it might be time for a makeover.
Sure, there’s always the argument that goes along the lines of, “why should I care what anybody thinks?”
Well, you shouldn’t. But if you truly wish to strike an aura of confidence that also makes you feel good, look after your appearance to the extent that you can.
Brush your hair before you step out of the door. Tie your shoelaces before you walk into a meeting. And for goodness sake, always check to make sure you don’t have toilet paper stuck to your shoe.
While this all goes without saying, there is a significant caveat in that you should always be comfortable in how you dress.
If you don’t like the idea of wearing a tie, don’t. If you dislike heels, wear flats.
Be comfortable in your appearance, but equally respect your image.
Confident people find this balance, and it shows the moment they walk through the door.
5. How to Develop Real Confidence — Find Your Inner Core
What do I mean by “real” confidence? Well, it’s the type of confidence that’s found within.
You see — and I certainly don’t recommend this — you could theoretically get away with displaying confidence while intrinsically lacking it.
Adopting the above 4 techniques — being good at something, smiling a bit more, cutting down on excessive apologies, and buying a better wardrobe — could make you appear confident.
But it won’t get you far enough. You won’t develop a real sense of confidence.
To do so, you have to be comfortable with you.
In other words, you have to be comfortable spending time alone.
“Confidence is not ‘they will like me’. Confidence instead is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’.” ― Christina Grimmie
Even if you thrive when surrounded by other people, it remains vital that you regularly reconnect with the one person that matters most to your well-being: you.
Meditate, journal, pray, read, write, sing, dance — do whatever you like, but most of all, do it alone.
When you spend sufficient time in solitude, you give your mind an ability to understand what makes you tick. You reward yourself with the chance to embrace your imperfections while coming to terms with your insecurities too.
This is the hallmark of a truly confident person. Get this right, and you’ll never look back.
A Quick Recap
Developing the art of confidence, especially when you’re starting from a place that lacks it entirely (as I once did), takes time. There is no quick fix.
But once you master the art of true confidence, your life can change forever.
Here’s a reminder of 5 powerful ways to do so.
- Find something you’re good at. Become great at it.
- Learn to smile more.
- Reserve your apologies for the moments that matter.
- Learn to respect, but be comfortable with your appearance.
- Practice spending more time alone.
Thank you for reading!
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