A Superior (and Realistic) Alternative to “Don’t Compare Yourself to Others"

Channel comparisons into motivation and self-improvement — not envy and FOMO.

Photo by Luc van Loon on Unsplash

My mental state post-social comparison:

• Before: The moment I compared my life to someone else’s, my self-esteem would experience a massive crash. I would feel worthless. Or being “too late”. Or “not enough.”
• After: Today, comparisons don’t have any negative impact on my self-esteem. Instead, through intention & repetitions, I have learned to use comparisons as fuel. Now, whenever I compare myself to others, I end up feeling excited, more self-aware, inspired, and driven.

The prevalent self-help advice in the context of comparisons is, well, “Don’t compare yourself to others”. And while well-intentioned, I don’t think this strategy is possible & sustainable — as I’ll explain next. The right approach, instead of trying to not compare, is to learn how to compare — such that, your mental health is not negatively impacted, but rather benefitted from the mental habits of comparisons.

“Don’t compare yourself to others” is B.S. Instead, try to tame your instinct to compare.