Burnout Didn’t Happen To Me — It Happened For Me
My seven steps of healing and starting fresh.
In Spring 2020, I broke down. I sat on a train on my way to work as a university lecturer, and suddenly my heart started racing. It went faster and faster, then it skipped a few beats, and raced again. My breath became shallow and urgent. I felt dizzy. I looked around but no one else seemed to notice that something was wrong. Then the terrifying thoughts started:
I’m all alone! Am I having a heart attack? I need to get out of here!
I know now that I had a panic attack.
It was the first one of many, and anxiety took over my life like a crashing wave — to the point that I could not use public transport, drive my car, or go to the supermarket without crippling fear.
That same evening, I called in sick at work. I said I had a cold. I honestly didn’t know what else to say, and I did feel sick to my bones. I went to bed and stayed there.
A week later, I went to the doctor’s office. When she asked me how I was doing, I started crying and felt ashamed. I told her that I didn’t know what was wrong. I had no energy whatsoever and I was afraid of leaving the house. In fact, I had almost canceled the doctor’s appointment because I was not sure I could get there…
