How to Focus on The Most Important Aspects of Your Life
Caring less to care more: the true art of letting go.
The world we live in is a busy one, and between work, health, and loved ones, our attention is constantly divided. More so, life doesn’t stop there. When we add social media, adversity, and goals to the mix, time tends to slip away. How often have you wished for more hours in a day, when in fact, you should have done less of some things.
It’s not just that you do too much. More often than not, it’s because you care too much about too many things at the same time. And everything you care about is something you want to see work out. So you try to do them all, only to end up with a job half-done.
Time is limitless, and like all infinite things, you cannot extend it, but you can work with it. And “focus” is your best tool to do just that. Follow One Course Until Success is one of the most known acronyms of the word focus, and though I agree with that sentence, I do believe it not to be complete.
Life is not so simple to give you the leisure of following only one course until you succeed. You have to be present for your loved ones. You have bills to pay and goals to achieve — only to cite a few. Most often than not, we don’t have a choice but to follow multiple courses. Still, you can succeed. You just have to do it one course at a time.
And to choose which one, you can learn to care less to care more.
1. Let’s Talk About Investments
Caring is like investing. It’s putting time, brain, and soul into an asset. That asset can be a being (human or not), a goal, or an object. And the higher the stakes, the more you invest. To be able to care less about one thing, you have to be aware of your investment. Aware of the what and the how much.
In the caring world, you have two kinds of investments, practical and emotional.
The first one is about the things you need to function as a human being. Taking care of your health by exercising or simply by strolling under the sun is an example of it. Taking the time to cook a meal or the money to order one is another instance. You can add going to sleep earlier and many more.
We all invest in the basics of our primal health to a certain extent, as I believe we should. Though, sometimes, some of us tend to take it a bit too far. Be aware of the what and the how much.
Then, we have emotional investments.
Feelings have always been the hope and the doom of the human race. When you’re in love, you care so much about others, especially the subject of your attention. When you’re sad, it’s the opposite. You prioritize your well being as you take the time to heal.
Add inspiration, motivation, commitment, and expectation among a panoply of emotions, and you have your emotional investment.
Feelings are not practical. We don’t even know where they come from. We cannot pinpoint their location. So, when they hit us, we rarely see them coming. Still, you have to deal with them. Be aware of the what and the how much.
How to manage your investments?
I’m a firm believer that a world without caring would be a boring one. I care a lot, and nothing in the world will make me stop. But I understand that the human being that I am cannot do everything at the same time. So I devised care days.
Each week, I take into consideration what I have to do in terms of practical investments, duties, and relationships. Each day, I take a couple and focus on them. Some morning I can write, and others I can read. Today at noon I can watch a TV show, while tomorrow I take the whole break to call a friend. Some evenings I can work out and plan my next day. Others, I can spend the whole night with my partner, making her feel like the diamond she is.
It’s about giving you the space to care more. It’s about giving you the peace of mind to get things not only done but done well. It’s about giving your undivided attention to the things you care about. It’s about making your loved ones feel special.
It’s not just about caring less. It’s about letting go, but for a moment. That is the first key of focus.
One more insight. A few months ago, I started to put my phone on do not disturb every time I would go to bed. And as I started, I also took the time to notify the people closest to me of my new routine. I informed them that calling me twice will bypass that mode.
By doing that, I let them know that I care about my sleep. But also that I care a lot about them.
2. Let’s Talk About Goals
This is what Wikipedia says:
A goal is an idea of the future or desired result that a person or a group of people envision, plan and commit to achieve. People endeavor to reach goals within a finite time by setting deadlines.
We just talked about investments in the previous section. And yes, goals are one of them, and they can be practical as well as emotional.
You can have goals related to your health, like being fit and in shape. You can have goals related to your career, like making more money or achieving financial freedom. You can have goals related to your love life, like finding the one or making a family.
But whatever a goal may be, as long it is not achieved, it will always remain an idea.
The world we live in can sometimes be like a giant tv show. A comedy or a drama in which you can see one percent of other people's lives. You see a president, and you want to lead. You see a musician, and you already see yourself performing on the stage. You see someone in shape, and you’re already planning your next trip to the beach.
Now, not every goal is related to what we see. Some are related to what we feel and to what we don’t want to feel. Some have been brought to us by the hazards of life, and some, from the moment we were born.
But still, whatever a goal may be, it will always start as an idea.
We put our goals on a high pedestal, envisioning that, once we achieve them, life will finally be what we always wanted — Mark Sisson.
Goals give you a direction, a trail, a path to follow. And at the end of the road is the promise of a Hope, one we so wish to see come true. So we invest, and we fall in love with the idea, when in fact, we should have fallen in love with the process.
It’s about caring less about the end goal and more about the journey to get there. When your focus is narrowed to a dot, you set up yourself to miss the opportunities that may arise along the road. Just be here right now, live right now, and do the best you can right now. You may end up in a place far better than the one you envisioned.
For a long time, I was in love with the idea of love. Until I realized that it’s far more fun to care about the process of love than the idea of it. Instead of saying I love you, how about we say let’s fall in love? For I believe it possible to fall in love with the same person every day.
3. Let’s Talk About People
We all care about lots of things, and you surely have your share of caring, especially for the people you love. You want to see them succeed and in good health. You want them to be happy and smiling. But sometimes we care so much about them we forget to let them care for themselves.
When my little sister was still a few feet tall, she loved to run around the house and jump on the couches and chairs. And sometimes, she would fall and scratch her knee.
I care a lot about her, but that didn’t mean that I would always go baby her each time she met the floor. Most of the time, I watched her reaction. And most of the time, she would take a look where it hurts, realize it’s nothing, and start running again with no care in the world.
This is caring less to care more.
We also care about ourselves, as we should. But sometimes, the emphasis is a little too high.
You’re dating someone, your crush, so you send a text message, you want to show you care about her. Your crush is busy, and you know it, but still, you send another message. You’re not caring about your crush. You’re caring about the attention you’re not getting.
By caring less, you can care more.
The Takeaway
Life is full of roads, and for many of them, we don’t know the outcome. So we invest in the things most likely to bring us joy and contentment. But if life is a maze, time is a line. And by its linear attribute, it imposes us to do things one step at a time.
This leaves us with no choice but to focus, with no choice but to let go of some things for a moment, to pick them up later in the road. By caring less about some things today, you can set up the stage to care more about them tomorrow.
To do that, you have to be aware of what you invest in and how much you do. You have to be aware of your goals and still live in the now. You have to care about yourself and still care about others.
Let me say it again.
It’s about giving you the space to care more. It’s about giving you the peace of mind to get things not only done but done well. It’s about giving your undivided attention to the things you care about. It’s about making your loved ones feel special.