Four Things You Should Stop Staring At Immediately

Our eyeballs are made for looking. And that’s just what they do.

Sean Kernan
Mind Cafe
Published in
5 min readDec 1, 2021


Editorial rights purchased via iStock Photos

Your brain often creates imaginary monsters when you stare at the mirror for too long. Essentially, your brain gets bored and finds ways to scare you.

If you stare at someone else for too long, you become that person’s monster. Here are four problems you create by staring.

Things you can fix

My girlfriend and I have a Transparency Clause. If either of us smells and needs a shower, has something in our teeth, on our lips — anything that is distracting — we have full permission to tell the other person without getting in trouble.

I created this clause because of a previous relationship where I couldn’t mention anything without my ex blowing up on me. Establishing this policy at the beginning worked wonders for our relationship. It makes us more honest with each other.

This way, the other person isn’t completely distracted while we talk, not hearing a word we say because of some piece of food stuck in our teeth that has them hypnotized, grossed out, and wondering whether to say something.

If you see someone with an unzipped fly, don’t just stare at it, make yourself useful: Whisper that it is down, “Psst. You’re about to let the horse out of the barn.”

Otherwise, you’ll look like a creep staring at their crotch for two minutes straight.

Instagram or biology

What do most men agree on?

Shapes. We like shapes.

Spheres. Circles. Hourglasses (or cylinders…). Ovals. We like partial shapes too. We like looking at them and watching them move. We even like looking at lines!

These shapes, particularly on the female (or male) body are highly potent to our attention.

One of the most interesting case studies I’ve seen is in a trans-man I know here in Tampa. I knew him when he lived as a woman and saw his full transition happen over the course of 18 months. Today, he is indistinguishable from a lineup of other men.



Sean Kernan
Mind Cafe

Always on the hunt for a good story. That guy from Quora. Writing out of Tampa, Florida.