How To Be A Better Partner With An Avoidant Attachment Style

Learning how to come with intimacy when you want to withdraw.

Kirstie Taylor
Mind Cafe

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Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

As social creatures, relationships are highly rewarding experiences for people, but, unfortunately, they’re difficult to form. Attachment theory is one way people make sense of their messy relationship with love.

If you’re the type that fears commitment, withdraws from their partner, or has trouble being intimate, you might suffer from what psychologist, John Bowlby, coined as “avoidant attachment style”.

Your attachment style is the way you’re able to experience intimate relationships in your life.

There are three main styles: anxious, secure, and avoidant.

Experts claim they’re formed through the way our parents cared for us as a baby. Since we're dependent as newborns, we relied on our caregivers for survival and emotional needs. If those scales were tipped — say, in favor of the parent being less available — someone could form an avoidant attachment style that carries with them into adulthood.

Personally, I have an anxious attachment, the opposite of an avoidant. I cling to my partners and default to smothering the relationship when an issue comes…

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Kirstie Taylor
Mind Cafe

Want to feel confident and secure when dating? Grab my 30-day dating guide, "From Anxious to Secure." kirstietaylor.com/guide // IG: @kirstietaylorr //