Living a Life Less Limited
Lifting the lid on leading your empire to success.
Despite being set on silent mode, the noise from my phone is deafening. Social media feeds relentlessly shout out, grabbing for attention. This fight of mammoth proportions is making me angry.
Caught up in a spider’s web of information, sticky threads constrict my airways, I’m losing my voice with the effort of being heard.
Yet I keep heading back in for more.
Then turn it off, an inner voice says.
I can’t.
Why not?
Because I’m competing in it. And therein lies the problem.
I recently strapped on armour, preparing for battle. But I was already losing this fight. In my mind I had made the vast amphitheatres of social media more powerful than me.
And I placed myself there, in gladiatorial combat, as if battling for my life. A dramatic premise; but I was feeling defeated.
I wallowed in pity for a while. Then I pulled myself out of the muddy battleground with a few realisations.
Stop Creating Convenient Stories
Clearly the wallowing wasn’t a conscious decision, after all who wants to fail? I had been setting myself up to fail by deception. The social media lies were just pork-pies, in a long string of life-long lies I’d been telling myself.
You know the type I’m talking about? The ones that seep into your core through the world around you. Excuses like — I can’t go and study, my family needs me to work or I’ll never get that promotion, I don’t have the qualifications my co-worker does.
So you begin to strap on that protective armour, believing it keeps you safe in the world. You make decisions that carry less risk, you’re playing the security game. It’s a game you have created out of fear. But all it really does is hold you back.
If you tell yourself restrictive tales, you risk draining the energy out of your potential. You will end up back where you don’t want to be. I know. I’ve been there and done that.
Take an Initial Leap of Faith
After years of helping clients tell their authentic stories, I yearned for a change, I really needed to share my own stories. But to do that I had to let go of the negative self-talk, the reasons why I couldn’t follow my heart.
I was divorced with children to feed and a mortgage to pay. I needed to keep up billable client work. My parents would freak out. I was forty-eight-years-old, for goodness sakes. A grown up. Mostly.
After losing a major client, I was offered the opportunity to silence my convenient self-talk.
Challenging moments like this can create chaos and stress. Alternatively you can clear the space for transformation to happen and take the call to adventure. Whatever your circumstances, risk is involved.
You could take the safe approach. Follow the path you always tread, the one that pays the bills. Then never risk living to your potential.
Or if you take a considered leap of faith and lift the lid on your limitations, sure, you could fall flat on your face and fail.
But the first step is always deciding to take the leap.
Weighing up how you’re going to sustain the leap of faith is, of course, sound strategy, so take heed of this wise man:
First, have a definite, clear practical ideal; a goal, an objective. Second, have the necessary means to achieve your ends; wisdom, money, materials, and methods. Third, adjust all your means to that end. — Aristotle
Invest in Your Potential
In 2019 I decided I would no longer be a victim of circumstance, a participant in my own limitation, and backed myself to write a book.
I became a creator, and master of my own life. And I scraped, begged and borrowed the funds to invest in myself for a while.
I didn’t want to die and regret not giving something meaningful a shot.
It’s been the best year of my life so far, as I connected to the truth of who I am. Words flowed while I tuned into a higher purpose, breaking through the bondage of self and paying homage to my inner hero.
And while pursuing my purpose, I retreated from the noise of public stadiums at large — social media was distracting — I no longer needed to manage it for clients. I gratefully stepped out of the games until my own chariot was built and ready to race.
Hiring a desk in a co-working space — to give me structure and combat isolation — I set and hit my goal to write full-time.
Plus I found mentors and champions to help me on my way. I learned a great deal by working with a professional editor and having an old buddy from film school cheering me on. And the support of my family and friends.
We all need love and encouragement.
Expect and Embrace Setbacks
The people who knew publishing told me, ‘Before you pitch this book to agents and publishers, write a proposal and get yourself out there to build an engaged audience.’
And it’s true, those things are a great advantage in breaking through the gatekeepers of publishing castles and in selling books. But I choked.
While playing a hand of self-promotion, I lost my voice and my message floundered in the delivery. I found myself in a place of comparison and fear, second guessing what I thought I should be doing, rather than being true to myself.
Then I acknowledged everyone hits roadblocks.
Seneca, a Roman Stoic philosopher believed there was a clear distinction between experiencing a setback and suffering from it, encouraging us to view such blocks positively. That the experience was bestowed by the gods to test character.
Stepping back and I looked at the bigger picture, recognising that setbacks are part and parcel of the journey. I had been back whispering those mistruths in my ear again and needed to find a stronger voice to combat those lies.
Accept that Building an Empire Takes Time
No matter what you want to create, it’s going to take time and effort. Rome wasn’t built in a day. And rather than piling on self-doubt and retreating to the safety of old thought patterns, you must stay focused on your goal and connected to your potential.
Yes it helps to have a ready made audience, but should the fear of failure stop me from chasing a dream I’ve already invested much time and energy towards?
I realised I was the only one standing in my own way.
The Only Person Holding the Power is You
Most people won’t commit to something unless they know it will be successful. And so, we end up on a path we never meant to take and, years later, the battle rages on.
Are you still fighting your self-imposed limitations?
Perhaps you’ve forgotten to ask, ‘Why am I fighting?’ And more importantly, ‘what am I fighting for?’
You’ve begun to lose sight of any original ideal or goal.
That protective armour has only served to limit you. And you were responsible for wearing it. No-one else did up the buckles for you.
You have stood in your own way for too long, playing it safe.
Realising that you hold the power is key. Only you can set the vision.
What is Your Vision?
You set yourself up for failure if you don’t create that vision. What is it you want to say? What are you trying to achieve?
I got caught up in Facebook feeds, battling algorithms just to try and reach my people.
The getting there led me further and further away from why I was trying to reach them in the first place.
But what did I want to say? I wanted to talk about empowerment, living with purpose and how increased self-awareness offers the freedom to live a truly authentic life.
I do that by weaving a thread of philosophy, psychology and neuroscience through an ongoing narrative of true stories. Sharing my experience, mistakes and the truths I’ve discovered along the way.
I’d already connected once writing my book. Then I lost that connection under the self-limiting beliefs. I just had to reconnect to my vision and take back my power.
Push Through Your Limitations
Any step forward, no matter how small, is a positive move towards reaching a goal. One Facebook post. One page written. One article a week. One meaningful conversation with someone who reaches out.
What is it for you? Every step proves your ability to effectively lead your own empire. And every step beyond limitations involves risk and requires courage.
And be aware that when stress arises, as it will through every part of a process, you may end up back on the hamster wheel of limiting thoughts. Again and again.
That’s why I was so angry with the relentless babble on social media.
Because I’d hopped back onto that hamster wheel. It was familiar and almost comfortable. It offered me an excuse to fail. I could hide there and blame an unfair world.
Or I could rip off the sticky webs of bondage I’d allowed myself to get caught in and lift the lid on my self-imposed limitations. So I did. I just needed to adjust my mindset and approach to the game.
Meditation helped me clear through the noise and connect back to my core values. Taking time to reflect helped me to refocus and reset my goals.
Now I’m back in the race. On my terms. Feet solidly grounded and head busting right through that lid.
Don’t let other people tell you what your capabilities and talents are. Own your life by becoming an effective leader of your own personal empire.
Key Takeaways to Ponder:
- Identify the stories you’ve created and recognise any excuses that have held you back.
- Clarify your vision, work out ways to invest in yourself and set goals. You hold the power to create that vision.
- Push through the limitations remembering that it will take time and there will be setbacks. Embrace them as a way to learn and progress.
What could you achieve if you removed those limitations? If you lifted the lid and let your potential fly?
As a writer, communicator and kitchen sink philosopher, I strive to open meaningful conversations about the fundamental issues of human existence. Come and say hello on Facebook and if you’d like to read more, please register your interest in my book The Naked Truth About YOU.
