Self-Abandonment: The Quiet Tragedy of a Life Not Lived

The Life You Were Meant to Live Is Still Waiting for You

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People fear dying.
What they should fear is never having lived.

As a physician, I’ve sat beside many people at the end of life. Some go peacefully. Others struggle. I once believed age or religion would determine the difference. But what I discovered is simpler: those who lived true to themselves — who said yes to what called to them — die with fewer regrets.

It’s not the failures that haunt us. It’s the dreams we deferred. The words we never said. The life we never claimed.

The Real Enemy Isn’t Fear. It’s Self-Abandonment.

I was trained to be useful, not truthful. To be productive, not passionate. To become Dr. Black, I set aside the artist, the nature lover, the man I once was. I believed this sacrifice was noble.

But it wasn’t maturity. It was fear dressed up as virtue.

What erodes us isn’t failure. It’s the slow, silent dismissal of who we really are.

I stopped reading books without “Surgery” in the title. I declined time in nature unless it was lawn care. I spent every third night away from my wife, always telling…