The Art of Acceptance
An idea from Spencer Sekulin.
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Life is not a straight line, and it was never meant to be easy. The path that we all walk is as Seneca once said: terrain on which thunder and lightning play.
Life is uncertain at the best of times, and at the worst can seem chaotic, unbearable, where it becomes an act of courage just to live. History is replete with it: wars, famines, pandemics, upheavals, and all manners of disruptive times have come and gone — and will come still, in my life and in yours.
How do we come to terms with this daunting reality? How do we handle it? How can we possibly wrangle control over such an inherently uncertain thing as life? The answer is we can’t.
Yet there is one thing we can always control, and it’s one of the most important factors in our lives: how we think. In times of uncertainty, how we think is everything, for as we think, so we become, for better or for worse. We can learn a lot from the greatest thinkers of history, and that is why I encourage you, wherever you are, to think like a philosopher.
No, not the abstract, nuanced type, but the practical, straightforward wisdom that has stood the test of time, from thinkers who lived through their own times of tremendous uncertainty and not only survived, but thrived.
Marcus Aurelius, for example, one of the greatest Roman emperors, was born into an era of upheaval and war — and was handed the reins to the empire even though he didn’t want them. It was thrust upon him, and along with it the fate of Rome. Yet he accepted it, and all of its challenges, and went on to uphold the golden era of the Roman Empire as the last of the Five Good Emperors.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca, one of the fathers of stoicism, did not choose to be born into an era where he would have to serve the likes of Emperor Nero, who would be his demise, yet he also chose to accept it and live up to his duties, even in the face death itself. Even Epictetus, born as a slave, did not bemoan that life should be so uncertain and painful but instead soldiered on to gain his freedom and become a renowned teacher whose writings would later inspire many of history’s greats, including Marcus Aurelius.
And therein lies the first pillar: In accepting that uncertainty and adversity are part of life. It’s the same for everybody, as Seneca said — we are all born into life, and must not be taken aback by what that entails:
“One has to accept life. Things will get thrown at you and things will hit you. Life’s no soft affair. It’s a long road you’ve started on: you can’t but expect to have slips and knocks and falls, and get tired, and openly wish — a lie — for death.” — Seneca
Who is better equipped to handle uncertainty? The one who thinks that life should be easy and clean? Or the one who accepts the hardness and grittiness that life involves? We both know the answer — and yet so many people act as though uncertainty shouldn’t exist, and rail against it! All to no avail.
The sooner we accept this, the better we are able to handle it when it arises.
Not, “Oh my god I can’t believe this is happening!” but, “This was always a possibility.”
Sounds negative? It doesn’t have to be. It’s simply understanding how things are. We can hope for the best, but we must simultaneously know that sometimes the worst does happen — and that it’s up to us how we handle it.
This is the art of acceptance.
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