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The Best Way to Handle Tough Emotions Is Completely Counterintuitive

Stop and try this next time you feel angry or overwhelmed

One of the many things the Buddha taught his students was “the four disciplines.” Sister Dang Nghiem explains them thus: there are four disciplines, two related to happiness and two related to negativity.

1. Do things that will lead to positive emotions (happiness)
2. When you are happy, notice and be thankful
3. Don’t do things that will lead to negative emotions
4. When you are unhappy, notice and be with your negative emotions mindfully instead of becoming swept away

She says we have been training our brains to feel strong emotions our entire lives. At this point, the pathways in our brain for our strong emotions are like super highways. We can light up those pathways with even the slightest trigger.

Then, she compares our strong emotions to plants. She says the seeds for all emotions are within us, including joy. Our strong emotions are the ones we have been watering the most. For most of us, our strong emotions are negative because those are the seeds we have been watering, and they have grown into big plants with strong roots in our minds.