The Three Steps of Life Every Individual Goes Through

Ultimately, we all must strive to achieve the final step and not get stuck on the other two.

Venkatesh Tripathi
Mind Cafe
5 min readNov 19, 2022

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Photo by Jukan Tateisi on Unsplash

Life consists of different periods. We are a child and then progress through adulthood and toward old age.

We go through these periods like different seasons in a year. They are natural and must occur in the life of every individual.

But apart from the natural progression, every individual in different periods of life forms a conception of how to live their life and chooses to live it accordingly.

Soren Kierkegaard, The 19th Century Danish philosopher, conceived three different spheres of existence every individual goes through and the way he lives his life through the lens of his understanding and external situations.

He named these three spheres- the aesthetic, the ethical, and the religious. He believed each individual must strive to reach the religious sphere where he ultimately discovers himself.

The finite and infinite in an individual:

According to Kierkegaard, a human being is composed of the finite and infinite.

The finite is the realm of necessity meaning the world of reality.

The infinite is the realm of possibility meaning the world of imagination.

To become complete and enter the religious sphere requires a balance between the finite and infinite.

We take the journey of a man and how he ultimately reaches the religious sphere.

The man lives in the realm of possibility and roams in the infinite: The aesthetic man

The man has just entered college life, where he sees different individuals like him trying to forge a way in their lives.

For the first time, he is outside the confines of his home and has infinite freedom.

With this freedom, he sees a great many choices. One day he wants to be an engineer, then another day a writer, and then someday an entrepreneur.

But he is unsure of the path to follow. He roams around like a free bird.

He enjoys the sensual pleasures of life, like having sex but does not get tied to any one relationship because it would hamper his freedom.

He lives in the moment for the sake of enjoying different pleasures.

But deep down inside, he gets bored in between the pleasures.

He knows he has to find a way of life. Otherwise, he would drown himself in the infinite and not discover his authentic self.

After wandering around in life, a sense of despair kicks, forcing him to rethink his ways.

So it appears that every aesthetic view of life is despair, and that everyone who lives aesthetically is in despair, whether he knows it or not. But when one knows it (and you indeed know it), a higher form of existence is an imperative requirement.

— Soren Kierkegaard

The man lives in the realm of necessity and roams in the finite: The ethical man

After exploring his ways, the man sees his friends find their life paths. He, too, completes his education and decides to forge his way.

Having gotten bored with every pleasure, he decides to settle in the realm of the finite.

He still has youthful exuberance but knows he cannot drift further. Otherwise, he will never find himself.

He gets serious about his career and finds the way of society to be the best possible way forward as it would give him the necessary direction.

He goes into a corporate job, becomes a manager in a few years, and marries a lovely woman.

He has settled into the realm of necessity with all the comforts and security a man can desire.

But deep inside his heart, he knows something is wrong.

He has given himself too much to society and become lost in the crowd.

He has yet to find his authentic self. He is the same lost man he was in the realm of the infinite.

A different sense of despair kicks in. In achieving everything, he still does not find his genuine self and thus despairs.

He feels the burden of society has killed off the cheerfulness of his youth, and he is now dull.

He wants to get out of the cage and experience freedom again.

by getting engaged in all sorts of worldly affairs, by becoming wise about how things go in this world, such a man forgets himself, forgets what his name is (in the divine understanding of it), does not dare to believe in himself, finds it too venturesome a thing to be himself, far easier and safer to be like the others, to become an imitation, a number, a cipher in the crowd.

— Soren Kierkegaard

The man gets balanced in the realm of necessity and possibility: The religious man

He sets on a mission to find out his true self.

He knows he must leave worldly pleasures and venture into infinity again. He must find the courage of his youth to venture out on such a task.

But he also must be careful he does not lose himself again in the realm of possibility.

He quits his corporate job and goes to a new place with his wife.

A sense of anxiety kicks in because of the uncertainty of the future ahead.

But he makes a promise to move on despite the anxiety.

He decides he will help others, and in helping others, he will find himself.

Mental health has been his passion since his youth, as he has also gone through bouts of depression and anxiety.

He creates a startup where he helps people find counselors, therapists, and psychologists to deal with their mental issues.

In a few years, his startup is booming, but it is not the success but his inner development which matters to him.

By venturing into the unknown, he finds a purpose for himself. He has finally found his calling.

He is neither wandering in the infinite nor in constricted in the finite.

He is a balanced man who has his feet balanced in both realms.

Thus he concludes his journey of finding his authentic nature.

Takeaways:

We all go through three stages of life.

There is no good or bad stage.

Each stage is essential for the development of the individual as it teaches him to balance himself in both the worlds of reality and imagination.

If one drifts too far into imagination, he tries on many identities but cannot find his true identity.

If one is too constricted in reality, he becomes one of many and still does not find himself.

By only keeping a balance between the finite and infinite, a man finds what he truly is and what his authentic nature is.

to have a self, to be a self, is the greatest concession made to man, but at the same time it is eternity’s demand upon him

— Soren Kierkegaard

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Venkatesh Tripathi
Mind Cafe

Helping you grow your mind through philosophy and the science of psychology. Connect on: tripathi.venkatesh3@gmail.com