This Is What You Should Aim For Instead Of Rushing Through Life

Don’t try to rush things that need time to grow.

Abayomi Omoogun
Mind Cafe
5 min readSep 19, 2019

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‘We are always getting ready to live but never living.’–Ralph Waldo Emerson

One thing is certain in these modern times of ours. Rushing. We rush to do everything from getting information to eating, to making a judgement, to even adulting. Nobody even wants to be a kid anymore.

What rushing does is add stress and anxiety to your life. Over time, this can make a big difference in your default mental state.

When we’re rushing, we are living in a state of resistance. Rushing produces a state of consciousness that often comes about when we’re feeling anxious. It’s a lack of willingness to be in the present moment, says Sura.

Have you ever noticed how rushing implies a feeling of lack? It is never easy to wait for good things? Have you ever got ahead of yourself? I have.

But what’s the whole point of rushing, really? We rush because we can hardly wait. And as Darius Foroux put it in his article, waiting is one of the hardest things in life.

“Take time for all things, great haste makes great waste”. Benjamin Franklin

We rush to write a book before we write our first article. We rush to become an adult before learning to become a kid. We rush to have sex before we learn what sex is all about.

We rush to have a relationship before learning about our partner. We rush to want to build a billion-dollar business before we start working on our startup.

“Rushing into action, you fail. Trying to grasp things, you lose them. Forcing a project to completion, you ruin what was almost ripe.”— Laozi

Isn’t that the truth of life though? Constantly moving. We are always looking for the next best thing. We don’t like to be stagnant. Whether it’s professionally, personally, or in our relationships. There is a constant feeling of never being good enough.

When you stop rushing and slow down, you enjoy life more. Things are more interesting. You worry less. You care for others more. You make fewer mistakes because you’re more focused.

Being present takes energy and intention. Rushing allows you to live on the surface rather than going deep.

The truth is that at every point in our life, the only thing we need is the right nutrients to grow.

Life is a Process

Life is a process. Time and time again as humans we don’t like to follow processes. Why? Because processes make you wait and, as you already know, waiting is hard.

Ralph Ransom once said that “life is a series of steps. Things are done gradually. Once in a while, there is a giant step, but most of the time we are taking a small, seemingly insignificant step on the stairway of life.

The feeling of rushing prevents you from experiencing fun things in life. Because you feel they will slow you down, and when you slow down, you feel guilty and left behind.

Is a book better if you speed read it, or if you take your time and get lost in it? Is your work better if you’re trying to do 10 things at once, or if you pour yourself into one important task?

Is food better if you cram it down your throat, or if you savour every bite and appreciate the flavour? Is a song better if you skim through it, or if you take the time to listen?

Is your time spent with a friend or loved one better if you have a rushed meeting interrupted by your emails and text messages. Or if you can relax and focus on the person?

“Don’t be in such a rush to reach a goal, that you reach the goal before you are ready. Sometimes, we learn such valuable lessons along the way. Sometimes, we learn more about ourselves and discover that we want something different. Put your heart into what you do, but don’t rush. Good things take time.”―Akiroq Brost

It Never Ends

Is there an end to it all? I don’t know, because there is never an end to the whole process.

We think there is a timeline attached to our life which contains events like mastering our art, development skills, self-improvement, actualisation, and bettering our relationships. In reality, there is no timeline.

Simply learn to live in the present, rather than thinking so much about the future or the past. When you eat, fully appreciate your food. When you’re with someone, be with them fully. When you’re walking, appreciate your surroundings, no matter where you are.

It’s like we are the guys in the game Temple Run and Subway Surfers who are always running to no end. While running, they get to collect treasures to overcome obstacles along the way. But still, the run never ends.

Apple and Amazon are both a trillion-dollar business. Guess what? The CEOs still show up to work in their respective companies every single day. That’s because the process never ends — there is only continuous improvement. And improvement only occurs when you are constantly learning.

If there was an end, I guess they would have stopped showing up.

Mastery

“As the years go on, a sense of deep patience comes over one; one seems to know the virtue of ripeness, and the danger of rushing events”. Carolyn Heilbrun

Take a mango tree, for example. Initially, when planted as a seed, it is small and it takes years for it to sprout. But what happens when it hasn’t started growing? It’s collecting the right nutrients while undergoing photosynthesis to grow. And when the result begins to show. you get a solid tree plant.

And what happens when its roots grow solid in the ground? It produces fruits, and so it remains forever till it dies out. It’s a slow process, but it’s rewarding.

The slower you go, the fewer mistakes you make. The faster you go, the easier it is to get frustrated when things slow you down.

Our life, work, task, skills, art, relationships all end as an unfinished project. Which is why one must continuously strive for mastery.

Steve Jobs died as an unfinished project both in his work and life. Micheal Jackson, one of the greatest musicians of all time, died as an unfinished project both in his work and life. The great Leonardo da Vinci died as an unfinished project both in his work and life. And yet, they are all masters in their respective field.

Three masters who achieved it all and yet still died as an unfinished project tells you all that needs to be said.

Our life is a process. Our skill is a process. Our relationship is a process. Our craft is a process. Our business is a process. Our art is a process.

Learning is a process.

Know this and you will know that every point where you are, all you need is the right nutrient to grow. Soon enough, you will begin to sprout as you get to your mastery phase.

“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.” — St Francis de Sales

Life is better when unrushed. And given the fleeting nature of this life, why waste even a moment by rushing through it?

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