This One Mindset Shift Turned My Job Termination Into A Blessing
No matter what’s going on in your life, this mentality puts the ball back in your court.
Last Friday around 4:00 p.m., I got a message on Slack. It was from the founder of a company that had just recruited me three months prior: “Hey Maria. I know you’re OOO for jury duty today, but can you hop on this call for a team meeting? Thanks.”
I knew in my gut that was it. After all, it was a relatively new startup — and no one schedules a call an hour before the weekend so they can tell you good news.
The company had folded.
Everyone was informed simultaneously, including the people who had been there since the beginning. (These were some of the nicest and most talented people I’d ever met; I’d left a moderately stable job to be there, but they’d given this company their all.)
I’d be lying if I said I was okay in that moment. In fact, I wasn’t okay for the next 72 hours. I went through the standard emotional stages — shock, panic, frustration, rage — until I hit acceptance.
And then I remembered a quote I’d read a few years back. I’d instantly loved it, so I promised myself that whether things were going great, or the proverbial shit had just hit the fan, it was an ideology I wanted to live by:
“Act as if everything in life happens for you, not to you.”
And just like that, I moved from acceptance to gratitude. Let that sink in for a second: I was suddenly grateful that I’d just gotten fired.
Had I lost my mind? Some would say so. But for the first time in three days, I felt hope and relief — and to me, that was a lot more preferable to fear and resentment.
See, no matter what’s going on in your life, this mindset puts the ball back in your court.
Whether you believe in some higher order that has your best interests in mind, or you acknowledge the scientifically proven malleability of the human brain, optimism changes the way you navigate through your life.
It changes your perspective, which is the single most valuable thing you can change — potentially even more valuable than the situation itself.
Optimism is a full-time job, but it’s well worth cultivating.
No one is immune to seemingly life-shattering experiences, and this isn’t the first time I’ve had one. I’ve gone through breakups. I’d been let go before. I lost my best friend to suicide.
Still, this time around, I was so much better prepared — because I’d already made a conscious effort to cultivate optimism, especially in the face of negative circumstances. I’d already learned that when I expected the best, things just seemed to unfold that way.
But for those who need something more concrete than my philosophical beliefs, scientific studies show that those who view the glass as half full actually limit the body’s response to pain and psychological distress. Even though subjects were diagnosed with diseases like Alzheimer’s, lung cancer, postpartum depression, and brain injuries, optimists reported significantly less discomfort than pessimistic patients.
And if that’s not enough to get you on the optimism bandwagon, recent research takes it one step further: Your mood actually dictates your perception of the world around you.
When you’re in a negative mindset, your brain switches into problem mode, where you’re much more likely to notice minor annoyances, bodily pain, and frustrations. When you’re feeling happy, on the other hand, your perspective expands to encompass a bigger picture. Here, you’re more likely to feel emotions like creativity, gratitude, and interconnectedness. You’re also more likely to form positive relationships and notice potential opportunities.
So how, exactly, do you cultivate optimism?
First, you take back control.
Studies show that those who believe they have more control over their lives are much more likely to become optimists.
That’s why I love that quote so much. If you can convince yourself that all events unfold solely for your benefit, you can react from a place of power instead of desperation. You’re no longer held captive by “what ifs” and a fear of failure. Instead, you can move forward with the expectation that things fell through specifically because something better is right around the corner.
Next, you count your blessings.
To some, this may seem cliché, and to others, it may seem impossible — but it’s genuinely one of the most powerful practices you can do: When life hands you a rough situation, do everything in your power to find those little gems buried in the bedrock.
These were the ones I wrote in my journal 72 hours after my termination:
- I learned a new style of writing and added a different genre of articles to my portfolio.
- I now know that I prefer remote startup culture to a corporate environment, which was a lesson I needed to learn.
- I got paid bank for three months and was able to start seriously saving for a down payment on a house.
- Due to the non-compete, I was able to resume working with all my old freelance clients, which will cover my bills until I find something new.
- I now have the time and freedom to think hard about my next move — to find something that I genuinely love writing about.
- I met an incredible team of people who, despite the fact that I was the newbie, still had my back when it was all said and done.
Believe it or not, these little gems exist in any situation, no matter how life-altering or unfortunate it may seem. You can find the good in a failed marriage, a lost friend, a sickness, a death. And then you can use that situation to shape yourself into someone better.
This may be my philosophical beliefs speaking again, but I think we’re here to learn from life experiences — not to let them beat us down until we no longer experience life.
