Were You Kind To Yourself Today?
Being kind to yourself is not a cure-all solution from all troubles in life, but it a good place to start.
I’m not sure about you, but I’ve had quite a day today. My regular work was interrupted by some bureaucratic project that is rather urgent and even more stressful and if I am being completely honest — I hate everything that has to do with bureaucracy. Unlucky for me, I moved to a different country 6 years ago and need to renew my residency permissions now and then, which means a lot of pressure and paperwork. But it’s not the point of my story.
As my day (and the past week) got overshadowed by this unplanned project, my plans got crumpled — tasks on to-do list got delayed, free time postponed till who-knows-when, the focus was impossible to maintain. And what’s even worse, there is no one to blame for that but me.
As I was preparing to give myself a good talking to about doing things in advance, not achieving my personal goals and actually putting myself in the position where I might need to leave the country (not likely, but it is the worst-case scenario), I realised that it would be completely against what I was working so hard lately.
Self-care has never come easy to me
As it happens, I never have been my priority, and this year I have promised myself to change that. A situation like this one is a perfect opportunity to observe your old behaviour patterns and make a change. It’s not easy, but it is not impossible either.
So long story short — I gave myself a break, ordered some pizza and took the rest of the day off to read a book and get my thoughts back together. I know that I will be able to solve my problems tomorrow when my head is clear and my focus is back.
Self-care comes in many different forms, from unplugging from devices and limiting digital noise to going for a walk and having a good night’s sleep. But also self-care comes in the form of kindness
From early childhood we are taught that we need to be kind to other living creatures — animals, people, show respect to the elderly, care for friends and family. The thing is, you need to be kind to yourself as well.
The modern world requires a lot from us — you need to be happy, successful, healthy, well-off, adventurous, etc. All these put a lot of pressure on our daily life. It is not uncommon that when people who in some way are not able to keep up with social standards start feeling bad and blame themselves for that.
Suddenly the smallest setbacks start to seem as big challenges that are meant to bring us down, the tiniest life events seem unsettling, and on top of that, it is you who is responsible for your life! But what are you supposed to do?
Be kind to yourself
The truth is that what we often consider to be big problems bigger than they are in reality. Most situations have several outcomes and solutions if you allow yourself to look for them and stop focusing on the negative effect that it is bringing into your life.
When we treat ourselves with kindness, we give ourselves permission to not be perfect, to fail expectations, to do things as we please, etc. But most importantly we tell ourselves that no matter what happens in life we love ourselves and make ourselves a priority.
Once we give ourselves that permission, the importance of life events that are troubling us will start to scatter and we will see their real importance, which is most likely is barely there.
Being kind to yourself is not a cure-all solution from all troubles in life, but it a good place to start. It is a reminder in the everyday rush to be present and aware and treat yourself like you would treat others — with kindness and respect. After all, you are your truest friend and you deserve to have someone taking good care of you.
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