What Dating After an Autism Diagnosis Feels Like

Can I Introduce You To My Therapist?

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Someone commented on one of my photos that I don't look autistic.

I'm sorry, but what do you think autism looks like?

Could you explain it to me like I'm a five-year-old?

I struggle to write about my autism because I don't always feel autistic enough.

I wrote back to one person who asked if I was "high functioning" if they meant to ask if I lived independently and maintained employment because if they did, that is an incredibly invasive question.

Since so many people think a person's life ends when they are diagnosed with autism, I realized the most radical thing I can do is live my everyday life like nothing has changed and write about it.

They don't write a lot of articles about how to date after an autism diagnosis, so I decided to write one.

What My Autism Looks Like

I can choose not to disclose my autism at work or to strangers on the internet, but I don't have the choice of revealing my autism while dating.

Eventually, my date will see the autistic traits that I mask from everyone else on subsequent dates, so it's better for me to just be upfront with it. Not waste their time.

I don't sleep on a consistent schedule. I'm often tired because I spend all night reading archived papers from my favorite writers published after their deaths.

I write openly about experiences that make people uncomfortable to talk about with a therapist — much less in a public forum.

I'll probably ask your mom to read my new article about how the latest labor trend impacts the accessibility of "The American Dream." What's wrong with that? It's a great article. I'm very proud of it.

My roommate was horrified when a man I was casually dating sent me a message at 1 a.m., and I sent back, "So this is a booty call. That's why you are messaging me after midnight, right?" According to my roommate, that's exactly what he was doing, but social etiquette requires me not to call him on it.