What Type of Listener Are You?
How to match your listening style to the speaker.
We all know the difference between mindless listening and mindful listening, but when it comes to paying attention, just how do you do it?
Do you give careful thought and consideration to the words of every speaker with which you converse?
Are you only interested in listening when a message is important to YOU?
Given the number of messages we encounter on a given day, how do you decipher which ones deserve your full attention?
Not everyone listens with the same amount of enthusiasm or with the same end goals. Researchers have identified four main listening styles, and the method may vary depending on the situation at hand.
Task-Oriented Listening
- Do you get frustrated when people get off topic during a conversation?
- Do you prefer when speakers get quickly to their point?
- Do you find it difficult to pay attention to those who take too long to get their idea across?
As the name implies, this style of listening is most concerned with efficiency. There is a job at hand, and accomplishing it is the primary goal. When immediate action is required, this is a very beneficial method of taking in and mentally organizing information.
However, relying solely on task-orientation will subject the listener to alienation from others concerning feelings. People who do not appreciate a direct approach may feel the listener hasn’t given their words the amount of consideration necessary for a thoughtful conversation. Task-oriented listeners tend to minimize emotional issues to focus on getting things done quickly, such as problem-solving.
If this is you, you may find this style to be beneficial in the workplace, but not as helpful with close friends and family.
Relational Listening
- When listening to others, do you find it important to understand the mood and emotions of the speaker?
- Do you listen primarily to build and maintain relationships with others?
- Do you enjoy the feeling of connection you achieve when listening to others?
This style of listening focuses on building emotional closeness with others. Relational listeners are attentive, friendly, and aim to understand how the other person feels.
Relational listeners tend to be nonjudgmental and aren’t interested in controlling or evaluating what is being said to them. Instead, they are highly responsive to others’ emotions and strive to be understanding and supportive.
The only downfall to this listening style is that the listener will attach to the subject emotionally and lose their objectivity during the discussion. Less relationally oriented communicators may view this as intrusive.
Analytical Listening
- Do you fully listen to what someone has to say before forming any opinions?
- Do you find yourself considering all sides of an issue before responding?
- Are you hesitant to respond before all information is given to “be fair”?
People who default to this style of listening like to attend to the full message before giving feedback. They want to hear details and analyze the issue from a variety of perspectives before settling on a judgment.
When the goal is to investigate a problematic question, analytical listeners can be a big help. However, this is a highly thorough approach to listening and can be time-consuming. It is hugely impractical when a deadline might be fast approaching.
Critical Listening
- Do you often catch errors in other speakers’ logic?
- Do you tend naturally to notice errors in what other speakers say?
- Do you have a talent for catching inconsistencies and contradictions during a conversation?
Those who practice this style of listening have a strong desire to evaluate the quality of messages. They are concerned with accuracy and consistency.
This style can be helpful when the goal of a discussion is to investigate a problem. Alternatively, critical listeners can also cause a lot of unwanted frustration in others by appearing to find fault in minor details.
Whichever style the listener chooses to use, it is important to recognize what method would work best in each situation.
If your relationship with the speaker is more intimate, you may want to choose a relational approach. If an investigation is called for, analytical listening may be a better choice.
Tune in to those you speak with most. By assessing and adapting to the listening preferences of your conversational partners, you can better address their needs.
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