When A Friend Breaks Your Heart

Mend it or end it?

Photo by Ivan Karasev on Unsplash

Close friends, occupy a unique place in our lives. Unlike our families, which are pretty much a crap shoot in terms of influence, we choose the people we claim as friends. Those relationships are integral to our health, our well-being, even our longevity. Even though the average length of a friendship in the US is ten years, in a long term friendship, we may spend more of our lives together than with parents, siblings or spouses.

Before we deal with heartbreaking, it’s important to consider what friends contribute to “heart-making”

• Friends are the almanacs of our lives. They see the best in us and know when we fall short. Even when we differ, there is an essential glue that binds us together. They are our “second selves,” able to imagine how we would react to any number of circumstances without ever having to know.
• They are able to embrace the swings of loss, sorrow, illness, enjoyment, hilarity, and satisfaction that mark our lives. We share a binding empathy and an attachment, which demands loyalty and a commitment to “putting in the work,” for the relationship to flourish.
• With a good friend, we are never truly alone. We are each other’s courage and each other’s common sense. We are the memory of the past that helps us look forward. We are shared…