Why We Want Those We Can’t Have
Choosing someone unavailable is more human than you would think
“You really need to stop running after guys who don’t want you. What happened to that nice guy you told me about?”
“I’m just not attracted to him. I’m bored.”
We are sitting on the terrace of a bar, having the umpteenth glass of wine, having caught up with the stories we had missed since we haven’t seen each other. I have tons of stories, great ones and terrible ones, never dull. And lots of them involve some guys I got unlucky to get to know, as it was somehow just not going anywhere.
In lots of the cases, it started out all nicely, and I thought we are heading somewhere, but as soon as I developed a big enough crush, they just started to pull away. And this was just making me want them even more, crave their attention badly.
I cancelled dates and rejected others because of my infatuation for someone who just wasn’t there.
It’s about more than just the regular he’s-not-that-into-you, or friend-zoning, or being ghosted. It started to become a silly pattern that annoyed me and made me question if I am really this damaged that I am choosing guys who just don’t choose me.
“You are far better than this. And you should have enough…
