Member-only story
You Will Not Fit In — But You’ll Grow
And there’s nobody that can do it for you.
There are so many times I felt excluded.
Feeling not good enough, weird, an alien to society.
I’m not the only one with these feelings and experiences as many people are ‘different’ in today’s world.
It was a bigger problem in the past, but I feel more accepted nowadays.
But that’s not because society has changed, it’s because I’ve changed my environment.
Moving away from a high school environment with simple-minded bullies helps. You now can talk with people about the things you like and don’t have to be ashamed of yourself.
Most of the people who were at my school went to the same university.
I chose a different place to study.
Far away from my former hometown.
In this new town, I didn’t know anybody and that gave me some breathing space to build a new identity.
I could now start over.
Build your new identity
The problem with staying in the same places all the time is that the people around you already know you.
You can’t fool them anymore.
If you’re known as the nerd who’s just silly you’ll always be that kind of person.
But if you move away and pick new people around you, you can shape their perception of you. They don’t know you yet so it’s easier to put your desired identity and view into their heads.
I did that.
And it worked because now I’m happy and I don’t feel excluded anymore. Within my field, I feel like I’m part of the group and can freely express myself.
Self-growth
It’s difficult.
At first, you think it’s all about your own fault. “Why don’t they like me?”, “Why don’t they accept me for who I am?”
But it’s not.
The only problem is that you were not at the right place surrounded by the wrong people.
