Awareness, Allyship, and Advocacy

Published in

Mind Muse

8 min readJun 3, 2020

The power of crucial conversations for leadership

“I just witnessed the lynching of a black man, but don’t worry Ted, I’ll have those deliverables to you end of day.”

Police brutality, racial injustice, and systemic inequality must be acknowledged and discussed. Today is not a a “business as normal” workday. With the recent tragedies piled on top of the impact COVID-19 has had on Black and LatinX communities, it’s clear now is the time for empathy, leadership, and action.

We all can increase our depth of understanding around injustice and racism by reading about the history, listening to the experiences from the Black community, educating yourself on how to actively be anti-racist, and actively supporting the cause. This is work I have embarked on and am committed to doing (with so much more to learn and open to feedback and additional resources).

When work represents such a significant portion of our lives, we can define real-time how humanity and professionalism should co-exist in the workplace for greater diversity and inclusion. It’s been inspiring to see examples of leaders committing to listen, learn, and act with greater empathy and emotional intelligence.

Many are not okay. Taking the lead on these issues requires a deep awareness of our own beliefs, emotions, thoughts, and actions, as well as the skills for active listening and the ability to hold necessary crucial conversations as we increase our capacity for tackling challenging issues through improved emotional intelligence. Furthermore, we must take the actions to back up values: taking a leadership role in our personal relationships and our work.

“Leaders are so terrified about messing up and saying the wrong thing to all their stakeholders — employees, board members, funders, clients, customers — or the wider world via social media — that they’re paralyzed into inaction.” — HBR

Silence or lack of acknowledgment about issues we’re facing as a society is not the answer. Checking in on your team members and holding space is a great first step to acknowledge what’s happening and set the tone that you are here to listen and support them. Now is an opportunity to lead with values, advocate for justice, and step up as an ally by converting privilege into action.

With existing examples of leadership in holding these conversations, it becomes easier to learn the most effective ways of communicating and educating yourself on productive, change-making behaviors. Taking care of yourself against this backdrop of collective outrage is also paramount in order to show up for yourself, your loved ones, and your team. As with anything that feels emotionally challenging, we must first start with ourselves and get over our fear of having these crucial conversations and stay focused on the people who are impacted the most by systemic injustice.

Here are some conversation starters to begin with:

“I want to acknowledge what is happening in our country…”
“I am devastated by what happened over the weekend…”

Let’s all take care of each other, and take care of ourselves. Read on for how to increase awareness, act as a true ally, and be an advocate:

Awareness

Begin by understanding and interrogating your own beliefs, triggers, and unconscious biases. What you find may be uncomfortable or shocking. Do it anyway. In facing yourself and your own biases, you can shine light on shame and offer yourself self-compassion. Awareness creates an opportunity for self-forgiveness and accountability.

Anxiety is a natural byproduct of increased awareness of socially critical issues and heartbreaking video footage. Prioritizing your own wellbeing, increasing your emotional fitness, and being able to manage it is a powerful foundation from which to operate as an Ally and Advocate.

According to Dr. Anhalt: “Emotionally fit leaders are self-reflective. They understand their triggers and biases and continuously check in with themselves. They are patient, resilient and willing to be vulnerable with others. They can tolerate frustration and manage their emotions. They understand that the feelings they have about others have a lot to do with their own selves.”

Similar to physically going to the gym, maintaining emotional fitness and well-being requires consistent awareness and effort that is preventative. Waiting until the anxiety mounts into depression or not noticing when consuming too much news is triggering deep anxiety are all aspects of self-management that we must be wary of to take care of our own mental health.

Self-interrogation and active listening are skills we must further develop in order to progress to deeper understanding required to take on action that will lead to empowerment and change.

Questions to ask yourself:

How can I better educate myself on the experience and injustices that the Black community faces?
Where have I shown a lack of awareness or insensitivity? How can I take ownership for any unconscious biases I hold and shift out of it?
What is causing anxiety, shame, or guilt for me? How can I take care of myself and offer self-compassion required to move forward?
What am I in denial around? What are the data and facts that either justify or debunk my beliefs?
What thoughts and actions am I accountable for that’s contributing to any injustice? Where is my lack of anti-racist action holding us back as a society?
How can I develop a more nuanced understanding or articulation about the situation at hand?
Who can I do a better job of listening to? What policies or cultural values might need to be improved in my organization?

“Part of helping each other is knowing each other and understanding that our common humanity has not bred a common reality. The more we all know and act, the more we can improve.” -Maxine Williams, Diversity Chief at Facebook

Awareness starts with being clear about the values you want to live by and where you can lead with integrity. Start with yourself, then expand your awareness.

Articles to read:

Allyship

Allyship is a verb, not a noun. It’s a continuous process in which someone with privilege and power seeks to first learn about the experiences of a marginalized group of people, and take actions on their challenges. Crucial conversations are the foundation for relationships and moving the needle can only happen when there is a “safe container” for the conversation.

“As an ally, you need to be willing to own your mistakes and be proactive in your education.” — Guide to Allyship

Assume a leadership role formally or informally by having the courage to create a safe container and broach topics about racism and injustice that others may be struggling to find the words for. Even though he is no longer President of the United States, Barack Obama continues to act as a leader through his words and actions. Everyone is capable of doing the same in whatever spheres of influence they have, whether it’s with friends and families, a company, or a country.

As a leader and ally, it’s crucial to help establish and maintain ground rules for complex and nuanced conversations. Invest in taking the time to build a safe container by thoughtfully creating the environment and boundaries that will help people to feel safe, be vulnerable, and take risks. Be vigilant about enforcing the conditions that create this safe container. Under these conditions of non-judgment and holding space, team members will be empowered to share their concerns and ideas in a way that builds trust.

Questions and conversation starters for allyship as a leader:

What are the biggest barriers you’re experiencing right now and what role can I play in helping to remove them?
How are you really? How are you taking care of yourself this week with everything that’s happening?
Do you feel safe enough to take risks at work? To contribute? To belong to the community?
How much of your time are you spending addressing exclusion or microaggressions against you or others?
Whose voice or what perspective is missing from this conversation?
How can I help amplify your voice and that of other underrepresented voices?
Would it be helpful if we pushed the deadline for ______ to next week?
Let’s revisit our priorities as a team: what are the most important things we need to get done this week? What can we punt to next week, when we may be more effective in achieving our goals?

Take emotional ownership by investing in making sure your team and colleagues feel seen and heard. Also, give those most impacted by this the space to not have to respond by making statements like: “No need to respond but I am here if you need to talk or want someone to listen to”.

Advocacy

Advocacy is the public support of a cause. Leaders have the power to set an example for entire organizations by publicly proclaiming their advocacy for justice, equality, and an end to violence. By first increasing awareness, you are able to increase your ability to thoughtfully and intelligently advocate for change.

Ways to engage in advocacy:

Sharing your position on social media, whether that’s Twitter or Instagram
Issuing formal statements about your company’s position
Publicly supporting organizations that are fighting for the cause (here is a list)
Protest and organize with activist groups
Take political action by calling or writing to your national legislators, state legislators, governor, and representatives

This is just the beginning but Awareness, Allyship, and Advocacy are some of the first steps that all leaders must take in order to embark on crucial conversations and action that is necessary for long overdue change. By increasing your own emotional intelligence and awareness, you can increase your capacity for holding space, prioritizing crucial conversations, and taking a lead on creating a culture of true inclusivity, trust, and empathy.