What I Learned at Google, Spotify, Uber, and Netflix
The Secret to Success They Don’t Tell You
As the saying goes: you don’t rise to the level of your challenges, you fall to the level of your training. Or as I like to say, you fall to the level of your ability to manage yourself. Having had the privilege of working at culture-defining companies, the biggest lesson I’ve learned over the years has not been the specifics of the business (although those are tremendously valuable), but it’s been the strategic value of self-management in the face of high-pressure, high-stakes scenarios.
It’s even more challenging now during these times of uncertainty. Here are some research backed methods that to help you to think strategically and lead mindfully:
Your Wellbeing Is A Strategic Advantage
Constantly being connected and available is often an unstated expectation. With the pandemic and WFH restrictions, separating work and life can be its own challenge. The byproduct of all this is a culture where stress and anxiety has become an epidemic. In fact, most of us are so accustomed to being in a state where our sympathetic nervous system is activated that we no longer even recognize it. Being in a near constant state of fight-or-flight creates both short-term business impact (stress is proven to reduce creativity and strategic thinking capabilities) as well as long-term physical and psychological consequences, which costs an estimated $125 billion to $190 billion a year.
As much as an onslaught of emails may draw you into replying with rapid fire, studies show that constantly switching in multi-tasking actually leads to a decline in cognitive function. Taking a walk and getting enough rest is critical to employ the parts of your brain that are active in creative and strategic thinking.
Professional athletes take rest and recovery seriously after training, professional thinkers also need to take rest and recovery seriously after work sprints. By resting, you’re enabling your mind and body to process and recover from demanding work so that you can avoid burnout.
“Stressful conversations, lack of sleep, negative moods, a series of active meetings, or engaging in intense concentration — your mental energy will likely decrease. System 1 represents those fast, automatic thoughts we continually process, often without our awareness. When that happens, self-control, or the ability to have it, suffers. System 2 thinking is slower, more deliberative, and more logical.” Deloitte
Reflection Is Critical For Identifying Ineffective Thought Patterns
The more you’re aware of the mental associations you have and thought processes, the better you’re able to detect if and when your thought patterns might be ineffective, destructive, or a flat-out inaccurate, highly biased interpretation of a situation. Clearly, this is critical if you need to manage the complex and ambiguous dynamics.
Fear and stress as motivators are not just unsustainable and unpleasant, they contribute to destructive thought patterns that can lead to misunderstandings, low morale, and black-and white thinking. Companies that continue to perpetuate a culture of fear reduce the ability of their employees to collaborate effectively together and increase the likelihood that they will ultimately lose and burn out any top talent they manage to attract. So, what’s the best way to detect and alter any ineffective thought patterns?
Start by reflecting on the most recent situations that have left you feeling defeated, upset, frustrated, or angry . These situations typically reflect an underlying belief about yourself or someone else that triggers disproportionate emotions that may distort how you’re dealing with or thinking about the actual challenge at hand. As Ray Dalio says, Pain + Reflection = Progress.
“Pain, when we’re in the moment of pain, we tend not to reflect, but after that moment of pain, whenever anybody makes a mistake, about anything, it’s not just the market, it’s about life. There’s a message probably there.” — Ray Dalio
Simply by taking the time to reflect and write down your reflections on the scenario, you’ll deepen your knowledge and understanding of yourself so you can better solve the problem. This alone will yield tremendous value in helping you better identify thought patterns, reactions, or assumptions that could be negatively impacting your work.
Studies also show that leaders that exhibit more emotional intelligence, particularly compassion, are also more effective at creating trust amongst their teams. And trust directly improves performance. It’s clear that self-management is just as important as business management.
Observe Emotions As Data Points
Your feelings may or may not be an objective reflection of the situation at hand (hint: they most likely are not). Regardless, it’s important to feel them instead of repressing them. Not only will you be less prone to an outburst at an inopportune moment, you’ll actually be creating space for greater objectivity by freeing up your energy from repressing the emotions to focus on problem solving. Ironically, repressing emotions also has the opposite effect of making them stronger. Over time, ignoring your emotions can have long-term health consequences.
Instead of judging, discarding, or ignoring your feelings, treat them for what they are: additional data points. Emotions are meant to act as signals to help you navigate your world and relationships, so treat them as valuable information that can shine the light on opportunities for you to improve certain relationships, shift your mindset, or eliminate a persistent obstacle. Ray Dalio promotes the observation of emotions as a way to guide you on what path best suits you.
Final Thoughts
With stress and anxiety on the rise in our society, it’s more important than ever to learn the mental and emotional skills for managing yourself. We teach and preach management strategies, but the core of all business and leadership is your mind: your ability to think clearly, creatively, and effectively.
Hustle culture champions maximum effort delivered for the maximum length of time. That provides the illusion of peak productivity. In contrast, focusing instead on energy optimization leads to greater creativity and focus — helping you deliver to your true potential.
Even as I achieved the title, salary, and reputation I’d always worked for, I was still trapped with my own imposter syndrome and not feeling good enough. It’s a feeling that doesn’t alleviate the higher you climb up the corporate ladder (especially when work culture still places an unequal burden on diverse employees). Instead, not feeling good enough will continue to wake you up during sleepless nights, reconsidering how you came across in a meeting, and makes you work Saturdays and Sundays thinking that more hours might help you get ahead (or at least catch up).
Spoiler: you can’t outwork or out-achieve feelings of unworthiness or fear. Every new peak you reach will only reinforce that you’re not at an even higher peak, and it’s a lose-lose situation as you slowly chip away at your most valuable and non-renewable resources of time and health in exchange for marginal gains in wealth, titles, and, more work, pressure, and stress.
Feeling not good enough is an internal game, not an external one. And hacking your beliefs about yourself is the most difficult challenge of all. The belief systems I had about myself — ingrained from my experiences as a first generation immigrant and woman of color — could not be restructured through these external achievements. Prioritizing the management of your internal beliefs is directly related to your long-term, holistic success of mind, body, and career.
To create and sustain long lasting change, a reliable structure and ongoing input is necessary to support the transformation that comes through the process. The same way you can’t just plant a seed and expect it to grow without the structure of soil and the ongoing inputs of water and sunshine, no real change can come from an intellectual understanding of a framework.
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Most of us are trapped at local maximums or minimums. By taking a holistic and integrated view of your life, you can get closer to your personal global maximum across all areas of your life.
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