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Navigating conflicts
Insights and Strategies for Effective Conflict Resolution
I must agree I have come a long way when it comes to conflict management or handling tough situations or difficult conversations. I still remember when I took over leadership role, it was quite overwhelming to handle conflicting situations, people resigning, or disputes between team members. The first resignation from my team was daunting, and the first heated argument between team members was a real challenge. I had to be the person handling the heated situation. The first resignation after a heated argument during a retrospective was difficult. Team members getting emotional and vulnerable, learning to empathise and to respond to situations like this is challenging. These memories flashed before my eyes.
Today, I found myself in a similar situation, and I am proud of how far I have come. During a heated conversation, I didn’t lose my cool even for a minute. Instead, I stayed grounded, which surprised me. We took the conversation 1-on-1 after the heated exchange that happened in front of the entire team.
My heart didn’t race as it used to, and I stayed focused on what I needed to say. I was patient and listened to the other person. I believed in this person and knew neither of us had bad intentions. We were both trying to protect the team in our own ways. We each had our own perspectives, and I tried to understand the other person’s point of view. The goal was to identify the problem and solve it together, rather than hold it against each other. We may not have been 100% successful, but it was a good step towards resolution, rather than keep it brewing.
It was also important to make the team feel comfortable. When arguments like this happen in front of everyone, it can make the team feel uneasy and creates a sense that “these topics are too dangerous to discuss.” After our conversation, I informed the team about how it went and reassured them that it’s okay to have challenging conversations. These are professional conflicts and need to be handled professionally. At the end, I took a photo of the two of us smiling and posted it on our team channel with the hashtag #patchup. This was to show the team that we were okay after the conversation. This helped to end the conversation on a lighter note.
