Is Your Relationship Based on Transactions or Love?

Relationship: A transaction or love

Our relationships play a vital role in the process of building a happy life. These relationships have the power to make or break our journey of life. The dynamics of the relationship become vital in this process. The list includes all kinds of relationships which may arise from “transactions”, love or both.

A few of the relationships that affect us are:-

  • Romantic Relationship
  • Friendship
  • Parent-Child Relationship
  • Relationship with our colleagues
  • Employer-Employee Relationship
  • Relationship with family members (including relatives)

If we talk about romantic relationships (which includes marriages), factors like love, trust, honesty, understanding etc. are a significant part of the relationship. However, such bonds partially revolve around transactions — a give and take relationship. Out of ignorance, a lot of people call many of these transactions love. These transactions can include fulfillment of the following needs:

  • Physical needs — These needs include food, comfort, and sex
  • Economic needs — This category includes money, house, car, lifestyle, luxury etc.
  • Need for social status — A partner that might help one get more societal respect. A partner who is good-looking, well-settled and attractive is desirable in this case.
  • Emotional needs — A partner is often required for emotional support, avoiding loneliness, need for companion, to get rid of stress and frustrations etc
  • Need for safety and protection — Partners are often supposed to live together and be there for each other in tough times.

Are these ‘transactions’ bad?

It isn’t wrong to have these transactions being part of the relationship. In fact, every successful relationship also has some form of these or the other. But then, there is a possibility of such an authentic love to emerge in a relationship which is beyond them. Although the aforementioned factors are still there, once love emerges, these transactions are no more the sole reason for which the relationship exists.

We may thus conclude that transactions flow inwards to fulfill your needs, but love flows outwards.

Originally published at on September 14, 2017.

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