Look Inside Your Loved One Who Wants to Commit Suicide
One of our clients shared this article with us a few days ago. It describes his personal experience with his wish to commit suicide.
“I will commit suicide.”
Is there any purpose of life?
This one thought has predominantly ruled my mind in the recent past. From some time, I have been feeling extremely overwhelmed owing to some life situations which have gone beyond my control and comprehension. I feel worthless and life has become as worthless as a bicycle would be for fish! No, please don’t take this example lightly- I actually feel that way! There seems to be no end to my misery and pain. My life is stagnant like water in a well.
Is there any reason to live?
No, I don’t think so.
Shall I kill this pain once and for all? Shall I commit suicide?
This thought storms my mind every other second. I feel seclusion has taken over my life. People around me are busy with their life and work. But they have been like this from the very beginning and I understand this. But why is it so that I am not able to take it anymore?
Calculated planning: does it really exist?
I just don’t have any answers. “The most convenient ways to kill myself” fills my internet browsing history. The secret of my death should remain known only to me — just like my existence. I have come in this world and stayed without any reason, so my departure should also remain unnoticed. But I must admit I crave unconditional love, not sympathy.
But I can’t help wondering if I have tried hard enough for myself?
Maybe; may be not.
Nearly giving up!
I always tried to live but I just can’t take it anymore! The rising Sun does not inspire me now.In fact, the feeling of getting up next morning is traumatizing. I drag myself into the world. There’s no reason to be happy and I feel like all life has departed from my soul anyway. What is left is a mass of flesh carrying the burden of my existence. Isn’t there any scope of suicide?
Suicide, in most of the cases, means parting with every breath of oxygen which is responsible for blood to be pumped from the heart to the parts of one’s body. It never ends the pain- rather, it creates a whole new saga of it! The ideation to kill oneself is a form of suicide in itself! Every time this thought evolves in your mind, it creates a bridge between you and you, you and life, you and we, you and everything.
How can I claim that love has never been mine? Such a cruel thought only defines that I don’t deserve to be loved. The survivors of my death will always have a pain much greater than mine in their heart.
But do I actually need people to love me? Shouldn’t I begin loving myself?
In the very end
But then, a voice in me says, “Shun this world of ignorance! What if no one there for you? You have to stand for yourself. The one who is alone has with him the most loyal companion-his/her own soul. It will never defy you!”
For those of you don’t know how to comfort themselves, I’ll conclude with the words of Mirza Ghalib,“Neither is there an arrow in the quiver, nor a hunter in the ambush, in corner of the cage I have much comfort.”
To connect to a mental health professional who can assist you, click here.
.Written by Mr. M
Originally published at blog.mindsolace.com on June 18, 2017.
