Embrace It Tips Won’t Work. Here’s How I Deal with Perfectionism
I’ve been in your shoes, trying to be perfect in every task I undertake.
In writing, for example, I recall spending half a day crafting just a paragraph — reflecting my chronic perfectionism.
Although things have improved now, it still bothers me because, at times, I can spend two hours writing just 1000 words.
People can actually write that amount in 30 minutes, making me feel guilty. Not only does it cost me time and energy, but also makes me more vulnerable to stress.
Is Perfectionism Normal?
In his book, Voltaire said, “Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien,” or “perfect is the enemy of good.”
This common assumption is known as “The Nirvana Fallacy.”
It’s like, if you think you can create perfect words, why settle for just good words? If you believe you can produce excellent articles, why limit yourself to just making them good? Right?
However, this is merely an illusion. Thinking that this “Nirvana” exists is a misconception.
Recall the words of a man who spent 16 years painting the Mona Lisa, Leonardo Da Vinci:
“Art is never finished, only abandoned.”
Why Try to Be Perfect?
Based on my experience, I’m trying to be perfect because either I want to be praised, or I’m too scared that people are going to judge me.
Somehow, it’s related to my low self-esteem, and this is confirmed by science.
If people say to me, “just embrace it,” that’s not going to work. It’s not that I’m stupid and don’t understand how bad perfectionism is, but it’s deep down in my subconscious mind that I am built this way.
So, how I deal with perfectionism is mostly related to raising my self-esteem.
How to Fix Perfectionism
1. Seek Conviction
I always knew my writing wouldn’t be so bad, but I needed conviction.
I often asked others, like my senior in college and lecturer, to review it. They provided constructive feedback to enhance my skills.
Sometimes, I also asked friends, even if they weren’t particularly competent. However, I believe people generally have a common sense of good and bad, especially in writing.
They helped me challenge self-imposed assumptions and provided the courage I needed.
2. Improve Continuously
I realized that the more I do something, the more capable I become.
When I barely finish an article a day, it’s because it’s my first time. I have zero experience and knowledge, and it intimidates me.
However, the more I write, the easier it becomes, boosting my confidence. If you don’t feel confident with your work, you may need to do it more.
Try to be consistent and improve your skills. Even if you’re always trying to be perfect, keep trying. Someday, you will be better, and it will be easier.
3. Leave the Work
Whenever I’m stuck at writing, feeling unskilled breaks my confidence. But that’s natural.
Our brains sometimes get too tired and overwhelmed. We can’t always expect ideas to come, so let the brain rest.
In many cases, ideas can come later when the mind is clearer.
If you keep working when your mind isn’t at its best, you will keep producing mediocre results. You won’t feel satisfied and will keep trying to perfect your words endlessly.
4. Positive Affirmation
Honestly, I’ve never tried this before, but I would, because when we think about behavior or act, it’s directed by our subconscious mind.
Something in the past must have happened that affects our confidence today. However, we can change it by receiving positive affirmations.
You can do it for yourself by saying, “I’m confident and I’m capable” in front of the mirror, for example. Do that consistently every day in the morning, midday, and evening.
If you say it enough, confidence will become your subconscious belief.
5. Stop Comparing
People who are better than me often make me jealous. Somehow, I want to be that successful, even though I’m just a beginner.
However, I realized that’s such a childish thought. Their experience and journey aren’t comparable to mine, so perfecting my work will never lead to the same result.
Recently, I tried to shift my perception to see their work as a room for growth rather than an offense. I stopped trying so hard to make better work than them, but just tried to learn as much as I could using my own capacity.
This way, I feel less stressed. Even if it’s bad, so be it. I’m just a beginner anyway.
My Final Thought
I always think that perfectionism is kind of a curse. It’s like our identity and won’t change easily just by knowing how bad it is.
I tried my best to solve my perfectionism problems by raising my self-esteem and also by finding the best way to work while that identity still lingers within me.
Even though I’m still a perfectionist, I have improved, and I believe I will continue to improve in the future.
I know there are also some of the best content creators, artists, and musicians who are perfectionists but managed to achieve their own success. It makes me relieved.
If you have the same problem as me, don’t stress yourself too much. As you work more, everything will become easier.
As George Bernard Shaw said, “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but also more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
Thank you so much for reading this far. I hope these tips help. Let me know in the comments if you know of other strategies that have helped you battle perfectionism.
