How We Lie

And we all do it, don’t we

Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash

I don’t enjoy lying. Still, I am amused by individuals, especially those committed to what they think is a spiritual life, who insist that they never lie.

The truth (and fact) is, that all humans, and many other creatures lie.

They lie to:

• Survive,
• Prosper,
• Win in a Zero Sum Scenario,
• Gain acceptance from some exclusive group,
• Convince themselves, they are right (a form of cognitive bias),
• Feel love,
• …And for many other reasons

To lie is to make an assertion that is believed to be false, typically used with the purpose of deceiving or misleading someone. The practice of communicating lies is called lying. A person who communicates a lie is usually a liar. Lies can be interpreted as misleading ot deliberately false statements. Still there are dilemmas where lying is necessary for survival and even for the greater good. I’m not going to do into that here. I will save that for the future and for other stories related to ethics, morality, and lying.

I think that much of life is about magnification. Something may be true at one level and false at another. This has nothing to do, with making up facts the way MAGA people tend to do. Since, as I said, I don’t really enjoy lying I did some research into the different types of lies. Of course some are mire relevant and impactful tha others.

One of my favorite sayings is that the truth you ignore will come back to bite you on the ass.

With this I add “Never lie unless you need to and know when you need to”.

Here is a short catalog of the ways that people lie:

· Bullshit: There is probably no word or term that can be used to describe a bullshit lie better than to call it “bullshit.” Bullshit is among the greatest tools of the trickster. Bullshit is not necessarily a lie but it is definitely not the truth. A complete lie is something said by a speaker who knows or believes that what they are saying is blatantly false. Bullshit, on the other hand, is offered by a speaker who couldn’t care less as to whether it is true or false. The Bullshit artist is really interested in influencing the listener. This is dangerous turf for a lack of concern for the truth often leads to falsehoods and bullshit spread without clear intention for a righteous conclusion often leads to unnecessary drama, and suffering.

· Haystack Statement: Sometimes a little bit of bullshit will not get the job done. In such a case one will need to throw large amounts of bullshit into a conversation — a haystack load of bullshit. This scenario is known as a “Haystack Statement”. A haystack statement (or answer) is a volume of useless, irrelevant, or false information lightly sprinkled with a bit of truth here and there. (A haystack load of bullshit with a needle of truth hidden). Now go find the needle in the haystack if you can? In such a scenario it is difficult if not impossible to detect and identify the truth. You might say in a Haystack Statement “the truth is hidden in plain sight.” Fake News is a type of Haystack Statement.

· Puffery: This is Bullshit or a haystack statement offered in the service of personal profit. Here the bullshitter makes exaggerated statements that while clearly not true cannot easily be proven to be false. Puffery is most common in advertising and publicity announcements, such as “the most famous” “original” “the lowest price,”.

When I lived in NYC there was a place called Ray’s Pizza that sold a very tasty and very large pizza slice at a very cheap price. Whoever Ray was he never trademarked that name. Within four or five years there were literally hundreds of “Ray’s Pizza” joints in NYC, all unconnected. In an attempt to differentiate themselves they began to create unique “Ray” brands. There was “Original Ray’s” and “Famous Ray’” and “Original Famous Ray’s”, “Famous Original Ray’s” etc. This is Puffery in overload.

· The Butler Lie: The lie that is least necessary and a tool of those who demand harmony or minimum functionality over emotional health and mental clarity is known as a Butler Lie. Rather than simply being authentic and saying what is factual with kindness and respect for another person the Butler Lie is a small/innate lie which is said over the phone or sent electronically, to terminate conversations or to save face. For example putting a post on Facebook during a thread of conversation saying an SMS to someone reading “The waiter is here and needs to take my order, gotta go” when you are not even at a restaurant is an example of this kind of lie.

The Takeaway

When I was a young boy, the director of the summer camp I attended proclaimed. “If you are going to lie, don’t get caught.”

I knew this could not be good or wise advice and my parents were aghast about it.

Actually he was wise. He did leave something out, though that I think would be important for an impressionable child.

I would have added:

· Do some serious meditation, contemplation, and introspection in your life.

· Then separate your want from your needs.

· Then surrender all regrets and expectations.

· Then know to the core of your being what is necessary.

· Then lie if needed.

· Don’t get caught unless getting caught is part of your plan

The truth about lying is that all humans lie at some point whether they know it or not!

Here is an interesting story @ConversationUS

Adults judge children who tell blunt polite truths more harshly than they do liars

Here is a story from the archives @LewisCoaches

9 Categories of Ethics and Morality

Pixabay

Author: Lewis Harrison is a futurist, and professional forecaster. He is the Executive Director of the International Association of Healing Professionals, a philanthropic and educational organization that offers programs around the world in Intentional Living.

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Lewis is also a best-selling author, and former host of a radio show on an NPR affiliated station.

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Lewis created a game theory based Life Strategies Playbook and Mentoring Method which he offers at no charge. He has used this system to move individuals and organizations to the next level. His work in Applied Gamer-Thinking is revolutionary. (Game Theory, the source of his work has won numerous Nobel Prizes).

“Please reach out to me. I want to help you transcend your challenges by helping you to get clear on your intention, and your desired outcome by increasing effectiveness efficiency, precision, productivity, accuracy, and self-awareness”.

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