Own Your Decisions, Shame-Free
Guilt Shouldn’t Trample Over Our Life Choices And Freedom Of Thought
Shame, guilt, and doubt often cage our ability to make expressive decisions, and we are oblivious to how limiting that thought process is.
Decisions about our lives are not public affairs, nor do they have control over our life choices. But often, we hand over the rein of control to them because we’ve allowed guilt and shame to eat away our awareness of self.
We’ve succumbed to the misguided beliefs of a societal culture that insists no one truly has independence of thought without external influence — people and circumstances — playing a pivotal role.
Well, I beg to defer.
People’s perceptions and feelings about the outcome of our decisions shouldn’t hold water unless it truly calls for consideration, but first, it has to come from a place of honesty, not spite.
In one of my articles, don’t tie a noose around our necks, I expressed just how terrifying and limiting having people (parents this time) lord over my decisions and life choices almost snuffed the life out of me.
Hear this.
You have every right to own your decisions shame-free. Your life choices are yours to make without fear, guilt, doubts, or the crippling urge to please anyone but yourself.
Don’t allow the damaged and projective notions of a lost and manipulative society to tie a noose around your neck. Once it’s tied, it’s always damn difficult to set yourself free.
It took me years to break away from the notions my parents planted in my head and I struggled with my self-awareness afterward. Imagine what would happen if society and the perceptions of others dined in your headspace unhinged.
It will be catastrophic. Not just for you, but for all others affected by your defective decisions.
Once shame and guilt have a key to your headspace, they are not leaving. Oh yes! They’ll throw a nice welcome party and prepare to mess up your life.
Shame doesn’t walk into your headspace and leave without a mark. It’ll find a nice little desk, prop its feet up, and probably pull out a fine Cuban cigar with a glass of scotch on the rocks, ready to enjoy bossing you around.
It’ll whip out a cane and point it accusingly at everything you do. It’ll inject serums of self-doubt, unworthiness, dependency, and fear into your mind, leaving you frustrated and angry at life.
And when you choose to escape from it, it’ll invite guilt to dinner. The insane con artist who will get to work persuading you to remain subject to them by any means necessary.
The deranged mastermind who’ll make you believe why everything else should matter except what’s best for you.
That’s a terrible, manipulative lie, but guilt will make you believe it.
The universe did not design your life and mine that way.
Nature designed us as free-thinkers, explorers, and independent naturalists who have a voracious zest for life. Not individuals caged and dictated to by people and things that do not matter.
Whatever you do and however you choose to live your life should be your choice. Your life choices and decisions about your life should come from a place of complete honesty and acceptance of yourself and your feelings.
You do not have to even feel certain about it. You only have to trust yourself and your gut, that you are doing what’s right for you.
My philosophy is that the outcomes of our decisions don’t break us; it only builds and makes us better.
So, you have two opinions.
Invite shame, guilt, and every other variable there is to dinner and give them control over your life or own your decisions shame-free and live a fulfilling, self-deserving, and intentional life.
The choice is yours, but I lean toward the latter.
Hi, I’m Jane, and I enjoy sharing meaningful pieces of my life, growth, pain, healing, discovery, and intriguing topics with you here on Medium.
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