Seasonal Solitude’s Significance
At the grand finale of our lives, there is only one person who has seen our beginning until the end, ourselves.
When you feel burnt out from having to be with the world, it is alright to take a step back. Have a reunion with yourself and enjoy solitude. Mind you, this sentiment is coming from an extrovert who barely survives a day without talking to anyone. However, even someone as social as me recognizes the importance of seasonal solitude. By this, I mean, having certain periods where you’re alone and I do not mean solitary confinement.
Maybe, you share a lot of posts on social media, try to stop doing that for a while, or you tell your friends almost every second of your day, try to stop doing that for a while. It is normal to feel tired of having to interact with the world and other people in any shape or form. And for me, it is the number one sign to enter solitude. By seasonal solitude, I’m specifically talking about deliberate isolation. This means that you have internalized a reason to be alone and you’re aware that it is going to benefit you.
Having “me times” as everyone likes to call it is essential. Speaking from my experience, it has helped me reflect on my past decisions and look to the future with a more open mind. It helped me calm down my mind and fight against the existential crises I constantly experience. Believe me, it is hard to go into any sort of isolation but it is necessary to rest your mind for a while. Think of it as healing up for your next adventure. Along the way, we inevitably take damage from this adventure. We finish multiple quests consecutively but we can’t finish this adventure in just one go, or else we’d have used up all our lives. Solitude allows us to breathe for a while. Here’s a quote from The School of Life — YouTube channel:
“By retreating into ourselves, it looks as if we are the enemies of other people, but our solitary moments are in reality a homage to the richness of social existence. Unless we’ve had time to be alone, we can’t be who we’d like to be around our fellow humans. — The School of Life.”
So far, I have talked about my personal experience with seasonal solitude. However, what I’m saying is backed up by research. There is backup data to support the significance of solitude to one’s well-being. On the other hand, it is important to remember that certain kinds of solitude have different connotations. Nguyen et. al. (2019)’s study showed that autonomous motivation for spending time alone is strongly associated with well-being outcomes. Moreover, at high levels of autonomous motivation for being alone, less social belonging is associated with psychological adjustment — the process of maintaining a balance between needs and environmental challenges (Nguyen et. al., 2019). In layman’s terms, intentional solitude reduces our cravings to “fit in” with society.
I believe that I am a testament to the previous paragraph’s point. I am not scared to admit that I tend to try and keep up with what society deems relevant. This is because I never felt like I never got the credit that I deserved for some things that I’ve done. There are reactions that I want to induce from other people. I always have expectations that I want to be met whenever I’m interacting with society and that is the wrong way to approach life.
When I started incorporating seasonal solitude into my yearly routine, I became more and more open-minded and ready. My friends don’t suddenly leave me just because I didn’t talk to them for quite some time, I could reach up to 3 months without talking to anyone and they would welcome me back with open arms. The reason is that they understand the importance of the time they spend with themselves.
Hannush (2021) pointed out that being alone in solitude should be nurtured as early as possible because the ground of silence should be developed to a level where our respectful speaking mirrors our respect for silence. Meaning to say, we should respect our existence by having alone time. We can never truly know where we are, what we are doing, and how we’re going to move forward if we don’t have time alone to think about those things. Your decision to continue marching towards your future should be made with a clear mind. And the only way to get this clear mind is if we’re away from the chaos of the world and one with the peacefulness of solitude.
On the contrary, this is not to say that you should be alone all the time. Take note of the keyword “seasonal.” You should have solitude once in a while but it is also important to connect with those you love. Like I said in my previous article, “To Top Students: Drop your EGO! Ask for help, please,” “It’s important to break out of our shells and try to approach each other because it’s one of the best things we could ever experience.” It’s not like I’m advocating for total isolation because they have pretty morbid negatives but that’s a story for another day.
In conclusion, your best friend should be yourself. In moments when you feel like you have no one, you should be there for yourself. It doesn’t have to be every time but the more in touch you are with your soul, the better you are at navigating life with a clear path forward. Don’t fear loneliness, embrace solitude. When you’re ready to go again, you will be at 100%.
References:
Hannush, M.J. (2021). Markers of Psychosocial Maturation — A Dialectically-Informed Approach. Springer Nature Switzerland AG 2021. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-74315-4
Nguyen, T., Werner, K., & Soenens, B. (2019). Embracing me-time: Motivation for solitude during transition to college. Springer Science + Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature 2019. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11031-019-09759-9
The School of Life (2018, Mar 27). The Need to be Alone. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XENTaHpbb74
