The Myth of 21 days to a new habit…
You’ve heard it before, right?
It takes 21 days to form a new habit !!
21 days to a better life !!
21 days to transform yourself !!
I get why this sounds appealing to pretty much everyone, after all that number is doable and it gives you hope that things can change, should you choose to change them.
The 21 days ‘shtick’ is like a good video edit. It may make things looks pretty but it is pointless if the video lacks content. It offers you a transition that may be a smokescreen disguised under the pretext of a change in context.
But is it??
So what is the 21 day rule?
First introduced by Dr.Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon in the 50’s who performed a variety of procedures. It was he who noticed that it took a minimum of 21 days for his patients to get comfortable with their new appearance. Armed with this observation he set out to extend his findings to habit formation and publish it in his book called ‘Psycho Cybernetics’.
He wrote,
“it requires a minimum of about 21 days for an old mental image to dissolve and a new one to jell.”
The book’s popularity went ballistic to the point that it is still widely quoted today. However, the deal about conjecture like ‘21 days to change it all’ is that it changes form when passed on from one person to another.
Soon, authors started omitting the phrase “a minimum of 21 days” and shortened it to “it takes 21 days to …..”, which is when everything went to S**T.
HABITS AREN’T FORMED IN 21 DAYS !!!
So how are habits formed?
You see, the reason why someone might be interested in the 21-day‘ hack’ in the first place is that, if they stick to doing something that does not make them happy long enough, whether it is for the greater good or just because it needs to be done, is that it is unpleasant.
While you cannot run away from every unpleasant thing there is that may have to do, this is not the way to go about it. While I can’t lecture you on the neuroscience behind all of this (cuz I’m no expert). Let me use some common sense to make my claims credible.
Routine VS Habit
Behavior that occurs with little to no thought is a habit. A pattern of behavior that happens by design is a routine.
They are not interchangeable & most people skip the routine part. People think that a new to-be-habit will take care of that To-Do list on autopilot. You are wrong, you can’t trick yourself into a pattern.
Unlike habits ( that are usually on autopilot), a routine is by design, it is uncomfortable hence the marketplace for all the hacks there is out there.
The question is: How do you go from an uncomfortable routine to a habit ??
Intentions
While some tasks can be turned into autopilot routines, some require too much cognitive involvement to be turned into a habit, like learning an instrument, journaling, etc.
So, pick a behavior that can run on autopilot, like taking out the trash without thinking about it, checking or not checking emails first thing in the morning, drinking water throughout the day, and so on. These are tasks that can be done or not done mindlessly.
Roadblock and time block...
There must be reasons why you wish to consciously pick up a habit, there must be reasons that have prohibited you from doing so before. Figure it out, make a list, stick it on your desk if you have to. Consciously remember them.
The next step is to time block. Set aside 30 to 60 min for lets exercise of your choice. Have a peer group to share that activity with. Do what you have to, to stay in line with the plan.
Incentive
If there is one textbook economic theory that actually works in the real world it is that “People respond to incentives”.
While that does not mean, reward yourself with a candy bar after yoga (it defeats the purpose), it means that have little nudges in place for yourself to stay on track.
Set micro habits
There is another textbook economic truth that holds true in the real world. Small increments over time produce massive results aka the effect of compounding. Start small, everyone did, you are no exception, and have patience.
Automate & Optimize your environment
Let's say your goal is to stay on top of some topic, you can set up google alerts for the same. If you are a content creator batch your content for one or two days a week and hammer it out.
We are a different generation, true gratification doesn’t just come from a back-breaking day of labor. Go smart with your choices.
Be compassionate
In an ever-increasingly competitive world, where you may need new routines, habits, rituals to up your game, don’t let it cost you your peace. Nothing great happens overnight, we all have pulled all-nighters to ace that test, and sometimes we have but you always know in your heart of hearts that the last minute is not the way to do it.
Be gradual, be patient, be regular.
Take it easy.
