Alcohol — Let’s talk about it
Alcohol, as well as eating habits, are a part of the Canada Food Guide. Alcohol?? Yep, you heard right. It’s about time as it is important.
When you read the guidelines, you will discover that the recommended maximum drinking levels are: ten drinks a week for women, with only two to be consumed most days; fifteen drinks for men, with only three to be had most days. That in itself was surprising to me. Ladies, do you stop at two? I know I usually don’t.
Previously, back in 2014, I read a great article about drinking. It reminded me then that I had been meaning to write a blog post on alcohol in our culture, but I hadn’t been brave enough to address the issue head on.
Well, I did write that post, and I am re-visiting it with you now. Since the new Canada Food Guide has addressed it, I will again too!
I believe alcoholism is a widespread problem in normal, functioning, hard working people. There. I said it. I’m not sure if I will lose half of my practice because of the outrage this statement will cause, or if it will double because of the relief it brings of being spoken out loud. However, with the significant impact that drinking has on our physical health, as well as our mental health, it must be talked about.
This is only my opinion, of course, but I will attempt to give you my rationale based on my own experience and what I see around me. I would also like to mention that I come from an alcoholic family, so I’m sure my early childhood experiences also shape the way I think and how I see things.
OVER ACHIEVERS — When you live in a community of high-functioning, over achievers, there is a common theme and problem that exists: how do busy, hard-working professionals “come down”? A drink will do it.
What I see around me (both in my personal life and in my practice) is that many people work very hard to keep things afloat (did you know that to own a home in Vancouver a household must earn at least $150,000 per year?). I know a lot of successful individuals who love what they do and they are good at it, but at what price?
It is great to work hard, but then finding ways to kick down the rpm’s also becomes important. Many things will do it: meditation, mindfulness practice, exercise, activities, outside time, sleep, sex … to name a few. But none will do it quicker than that first few sips of a beer or a glass of wine. It is almost instant. I’m not completely sure if it is a chemical reaction, or a psychosomatic association, or a combination of the two, but it works. The problem, however, is that if it becomes the only way we know how to come down from our income-earning high, it can become a dependency. The only way we know how, or our primary go-to.
Suggestion: If you don’t want to be caught in this trap, ensure that you are always drawing from a variety of ways that you use to come down from your work high or your work stress. Balance is the key.
SOCIALLY EXPECTED — Notice I said expected, not accepted!
Social gatherings and celebrations are largely oriented around drinking alcohol. If you don’t believe me, try not drinking and showing up at the restaurant, the dinner party, the birthday party, or God forbid, the pub to go dancing with your friends.
My husband and I once took a sabbatical from drinking for over a year, and the responses we got from people at these types of events was anything from funny to annoying: “Why not? What’s wrong? Are you sure? Just one?” Rarely was it ever, “good for you”.
Or another phenomena my husband pointed out is that people seem to get offended by our not drinking, and their responses were often personal. It seemed that when we declined to have a drink, we were somehow offending them. People would quickly defend their own drinking habits, when they clearly weren’t in question. Common responses were: “I was thinking of quitting; I don’t drink that often; I’m cutting down; I only drink on the weekends.” You get the general idea.
One of the funniest and annoying responses I have had was from someone in a pub that I had just met for the first time. When he noticed my ‘near-beer’, he asked me why I wasn’t drinking. I responded that I was not drinking for money and health reasons. He then proceeded to tell me how dumb that was, that the non-alcoholic beer I was drinking was just as expensive as regular beer, and how regular beer was better for you with less preservatives, fillers, bad stuff, etc. It was hilarious! As I was about to engage him in further conversation and defend the benefits to me of not drinking, I stopped myself and moved along to a new conversation. Clearly I had hit a hot button.
Suggestion: Be strong in the face of social pressure. It doesn’t only happen to our teenagers!
SO WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? It’s a quick way to come down and relax, it’s legal and a social norm, and it’s fun.
I see regular alcohol consumption as a potential problem for health (read the Globe and Mail articles noted above), relationships, and the pocket book. With regards to health, whether we are talking about your liver, brain damage, cancer, depression or anxiety, alcohol can contribute to these health issues. With regards to relationships, discussions under the influence can often go sideways or be unnecessarily inflamed. Alcohol use may also change priorities and choices, which can have adverse effects on relationships as well. And finally, the pocket book. Drinking is expensive. You can cross border shop or make your own, but the costs both directly and indirectly still add up. Look at your restaurant bill without drinking — eating out is cheap! Or the associated indirect costs: let’s have one more; I don’t feel like making dinner, let’s go out; I don’t feel like going for that walk, let’s have another; I’ve got this one (credit card comes out)…you get it.
Suggestion: perhaps give yourself a drinking budget. Or even before you try that, don’t change your consumption and add up all of your drinking dollars for three months. You may be surprised how much you are spending and may want to re-evaluate. Or another suggestion is to take a break for a month and see how your choices of activities change. They may become healthier and cheaper.
I hope you have found this blog helpful in assessing your own alcohol consumption, as well as to make changes in the event that you feel it might be a problem. If you do decide that you would like to change your habits, moderate your drinking, or quit altogether, Hello Sunday Morning might be for you. It is a website, with an App you can download, that supports any goals you might have for yourself. They also have great videos, blogs, online conversations and much more. Or if you are preparing yourself for ending your drinking career, check out Annie Grace’s book: This Naked Mind. She shares her own story in a beautiful, raw way, moving us toward quitting altogether through research, facts, and how the psyche works. Check them both out!
Cheers.
