Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow
As Fleetwood Mac reminds us, yesterday is gone.
Thank God. I think we could all use a little forward thinking — a bit of hope perhaps? I know I can.
Well, here we are in 2021. We made it. I am not sure about you, but I feel a little shell-shocked myself. In some respects, it is really hard to believe that a pandemic hit the entire world last year. But it did, and it definitely affected us. Some of it has been good, most of it — not so much.
I am so done with 2020. It has been a year full of things that we will probably never forget, but will not want to remember either. Don’t get me wrong, as I have written about previously there have been many blessings amidst this world pandemic. However with the myriad of limitations and so much out of our control, the masses will be singing Hallelujah from the rooftops once the threat of covid is lurking no more.
With a vaccine out now, it makes me wonder how long back to normal will be exactly and will we know it when we see it. I guess time will tell. Perhaps we can all try to hang on to some of the good parts, and create our own new normal as we move forward.
One of the most significant changes during covid was how we handle death. I have been a firm believer for many years that if your life existed on this planet for even a minute, that it is worth honouring. This includes bedside as people are dying, open caskets for assisting in the grieving process, and of course a service to gather, remember and celebrate all we can about the person lost.
Not last year. Pretty much none of it. People were dying alone in hospitals and care homes, their loved ones excluded from their final moments. Viewing the body and gathering? Nope, not that either. Shitty all round, for the person who left, and for the ones they left behind. Makes one wonder how many wounded souls will be wandering around through this year with a sense of incompleteness in their process.
I did have a positive outcome of covid with regard to a recent loss that I experienced. My cousin passed away on the other side of the country in New Brunswick, just a couple of weeks ago. He was only 42 years old. Hop on a plane and console my aunt on the loss of her only child? Nope. Shitty. With my nature that is exactly what I would have done pre-covid.
The good news: they did hold a service for him and it was live-streamed! New Brunswick closed down in advance of Christmas and got its numbers under control early, so at the time of his passing a service was actually allowed. Awesome that I could “attend” his service after all and have a sense of closure and closeness to my family. I watched the people speak, a pastor and a couple of close friends. I was able to listen to the music played, and I cried like a baby during Amazing Grace. It was lovely, and I was able to experience it. I don’t believe live-streaming was happening or common before covid. One positive outcome.
Another noteworthy improvement experienced last year world wide was the environmental impact. Less pollution, less traffic, less travel, cleaner waters — the planet is much happier with us humans for sure. I hope these unintended benefits can be harnessed and replicated as we move forward away from the pandemic.
A frustrating but beneficial bonus for myself was the personal slowing. Prior to covid, my personality, lifestyle and business commitments had me very busy every week. I love travelling, having fun with friends, connecting with others and mentoring. This is a large part of who I am. I also routinely have many work commitments that include networking, business meetings and community engagements. All of this seemed “necessary” prior to the pandemic.
Necessary or not, my busy schedule got shut down, and some areas have definitely suffered with the imposed limited contact. For example, launching a new business venture immediately after covid hit us has not worked out so well. People need people, personal contact, support and encouragement to make a new launch successful, and all of this has not been possible. We will see if this new venture survives or not. I hope so.
On the upside, my nervous system has calmed down substantially with the forced home life. Spending a lot more time in my home has been lovely and I am really enjoying the personal connections that are allowed. Making home cooked meals has always been great, as I love cooking and I now have more time.
Another coinciding benefit has been a happier credit card. Being out of the home a lot means socializing and eating out a lot. This is not cheap! Being at home, I am able to get my food from the grocery store and enjoy cooking it myself, which is considerably cheaper. No wonder my grandparents and my mom only allowed one meal per month (at the most!) out at a restaurant. I was aware of how precious this experience was since it was infrequent, but as a kid did not realize the huge financial savings that accompany this choice.
I believe another good outcome we received from a nasty virus is re-learning about cleanliness and safety. For instance, washing your hands. Not sure why we needed a pandemic to drive this baby home, but apparently we did. I had previously noticed when travelling that wearing masks in other countries is more common. In China for example, most people wore masks as they were moving about. Probably because of the pollution, was my guess. I also found that in Japan a lot of people wear masks regularly. I found out from one local that it is customary to wear a mask if you yourself are sick, with a common cold for example. What a concept — keeping your germs to yourself!
All in all, starting a new year can come with new hope. Here are some ideas for your resolution list:
- Spend your time wisely — on what and who is important.
- Pay attention to the little things. Remember when our moms ironed the sheets? Maybe they knew something that we didn’t.
- Be kind to yourself and to others. A crisis is no time to be hard on yourself, and showing kindness toward others vs judgement is very important when everyone is scared and trying to figure things out.
- No regrets. If you survived 2020, that’s enough. I love this quote by Jamie Varon:
It’s almost 2021. And you’re going to feel the pressure to evaluate 2020 by the way your body looks, the amount in your bank account, how much you got done or did not get done. And how about this idea? Don’t. Don’t evaluate it. Don’t look back and wish you’d done it differently. You survived this year. You tore your way through chaos and pain and anxiety and uncertainty and stress and collective fear and you learned how to comfort yourself in crisis and you learned the depth of your empathy and you learned how to give yourself a break…You’ve done enough. You are enough. Let 2021 crest over you gently — and ease your way into it. You deserve that exhale.
Why not dedicate this next year to simply loving yourself more? And in turn, love others as you wish to be loved.
