I Miss Hugging
Physical touch is my number one love language, according to Gary Chapman. So what do I do when we aren’t supposed to touch one another?!
In this time of global crisis, and social distancing, hugging is forbidden. I get it. We do not want to pass along the virus. However for me, it feels so foreign. It is like a natural part of me has been cut off.
I typically hug anyone I meet. Strangers, people who are introduced to me for the first time, or someone that I already know. To me they are all the same. I am drawn to connection. Often throughout my life, I can tell that the receiver is a bit surprised. Most are used to meeting new people and exchanging a nod, a smile, or a handshake. Instead, I embrace them. Sorry, but that is who I am. I practically can’t help myself. I really don’t even think about it. It is natural for me to pull close to me anyone that I encounter, new or familiar.
I love personal touch so much that not only do I hug pretty much everyone in my life, but I also go to the chiropractor, massage, reflexology . . . anywhere where I will be touched!
In these times, I find myself awkward. A longing look, or an apologetic smile. “I wish I could hug you, but I know we can’t.” It feels stilted.
I have never experienced a pandemic in my lifetime, not even a global crisis really. Of course bad things are happening all of the time, all over the world. Not something that singlehandedly affects everyone simultaneously though.
Well, now it is happening. All of our “normals” are out the window, and social distancing and social isolation it is. For us huggers, it is really hard to squelch a natural part of who we are. For us extroverts — the same for us, and we are dying inside. It seems that there is so much for all of us to learn from a different way of being.
So what happens with all of this kinaesthetic energy that we now have to suppress? I suppose that funnelling it in different directions is an option. Perhaps journalling, or exercise, or outside time (at a distance from others) is the best way to direct all of that goodwill that we can’t actually physically share? There are options.
On the other side, I bet all of the non-touchers and introverts are extremely happy that the rest of the world has to abide by their rules. They are probably the same people that cringe when I engulf them with an unwanted hug. Hats off to you folks — sorry that I have always been intrusive in your world.
All in all, there are many good norms coming out of this pandemic: cocooning with our loved ones; slowing; simplicity; basic needs and values. There is no doubt that every crisis teaches us something valuable.
I just miss hugging.
