Interview with Hector Silva Peralta
PASSION / PATIENCE / PERSEVERANCE . . . Perfect words for this lovely man and his journey, a journey that we can all learn from.
Against all odds, this young man has a smile and a determination that defy his circumstances. I am blessed that he granted me an interview.
Hector grew up in a small village in Chile. His father worked in a mine. Close by, there was a little ski resort with a few towers. One lift would go up to the top, and you could get off at any tower…all the way up to 8. As it rose, it would get progressively steeper and more difficult. He was only 3 or 4 years of age. The ski hill was his daycare. Hector told me that when they had big storms and the snow was down in town, they could just ski out of their homes!
It was a wonderful childhood. Sometimes I am conflicted. Wanting to go back to that place, everything was so perfect: environment, activity, a child with no worries…
Tragedy
A turning point for Hector was when he lost a close friend three years prior to us meeting. He speaks about it as if it is still very present. His name was Tony, and he was only 37 when he died on December 29th, 2014. He was on a solo hike, a mountain accident, where he fell in the Dolomites in Italy.
I was dependent on him. He was my boss at the climbing shop where I was working in Italy. We had big plans. He was going to pay for my courses. We had a guiding service in the back room. We had big projects happening, then, boom.
Hector was in Chile at the time of the accident, and he flew back to Italy to help his friends and his family. He pretty much spent all of the money he had to buy a ticket to get back and help out. He and Tony had a very powerful connection.
He was my spiritual mentor person — somebody who was one of my biggest support systems. We had a very profound connection.
Tony was the dad of four kids, and the last one not birthed yet. When Hector originally heard about his death, he decided that he would go to back to Italy. The plan was to stay a couple of months and help out with things. However, he found that he could not go back to Chile as quickly as planned; he stayed almost a year.
Tony’s wife was trying to run the business, and deal with her loss. Hector already knew how to do things, so he worked the business until she could find someone to rent it. He wanted to help out while things were stabilizing a bit. Then Hector got much more than he bargained for: he got to assist with the labor and delivery of Tony’s child! A wonderful blessing. After a while, however, he began to realize that his time there was ending.
I knew when it was time to leave; I hit the roof. I couldn’t take my courses any more, and I did not want to be selling climbing gear all of my life. I had to leave to go to a bigger step.
I probably still carry him more than I should. I still wear one of his jackets. It is something I carry to feel safe; a protective angel, like Ariadne’s thread. It is good to risk a little bit, but it is always good to be back from a trek and to celebrate. It is very rewarding when you return; that’s when the party happens!
Hector’s Family of Origin
Hector’s mom and dad are still alive, and they still have a healthy marriage, he tells me. His dad is 65, and mom 64. They have been together since they were 17. His grandparents are all gone.
Hector is the youngest of three children. His eldest sister is married and lives in Chile. She has two kids. His middle sister is married and lives in Alaska. She has three children.
My mom: “Changes: part of a greater plan that we don’t know.”
I used to get so mad at that! My mom would always talk to me about that, even as a kid. “If it doesn’t happen, it wasn’t meant to be! It doesn’t mean you are not going to get what you’re going to get, just not now; greater good” she would say.
My mom, she talked to me about this since I was like 10 years old. At age 18, I started to get that mad at that. I am not anymore. It took me quite a while to understand, but now my own travelling has shown me that it is true.
My mom: cool, wise, never with temper, always centred, with that emotional consistency. That’s how I see her.
Is that a high standard for someone you might date?! I asked Hector.
Isn’t it really about unconditional love? Relationships? Being receptive, not judging, even when you are seeing something you don’t like? Not being defensive or aggressive, just being observant. All comes down to being unconditional, it is for me at least.
My dad: Why an architect?
This began with early conflict with my father. I wanted to be a musician, and he told me I would die of hunger; I would not make any money. He comes from a poor family in the countryside, and education was his generation’s way to escape to a better stature. I respect that, so we compromised. Architecture is still artistic, and I liked to draw. I did a Master’s Degree as well, focusing on building in remote areas. Mountaineering influenced me there as well.
I was translating application forms at the time, and I read that there was a free opportunity to those coming from developing countries, third world countries. Chile! I thought to myself. We are a developing country. So I did it, and I finished it. I learned about committing to getting things done. I was living in the alps already and I was taking the train once a week to take my courses in Rome. It was a little bit harder, but it worked.
When I was doing architecture and I was living in the city, I was not really having a good time. Big city, violence — I needed to go back to that happy place. I decided to quit architecture, quit working in that industry, and I went back to the mountains to find any job — start from zero again. I had a thousand euros in my pocket and I could buy a ticket to go back to Chile to my parents (I was living in Rome, Italy at that moment) I was studying at University of Rome. After I graduated, I was working as a professor’s assistant for the first year. This did not make my heart sing. Everything was calling me back to that childhood place of freedom, and it still does today; a place of happiness.
My father has always been a provider. He gave me economical support, friendship, and is a very solid human being. “You need me, I am here!” That is a lot.
“I wish I could spend more time with my parents, but I am on this quest…”
Uncertainty Moving Forward
Where do I belong? The truth is, I need the soil to put my roots. I am this hydroponic plant, with my roots in the snow, surviving. But I know I need some soil eventually, you know.
That’s the challenge for sure: stability. I know it will arrive. It’s a matter of waiting, and keep doing what I am doing. I keep telling that to myself. It will get there, but it is a lot of hard work. It is a little bit harder when you are not from town, and I am visa dependent. I could be working right now, I think to myself. Supporting myself. Things could then be so much easier. Working at anything, even cleaning dishes or something. Or ski patrolling, just to get some cash and support this trip.
Ski patrol, saving for courses, the plan…it really is what worries me. Am I going to be able to support this plan? Is it too big? Is it a crazy thing I am doing? Sometimes it feels like it is too big.
I wish I had more opportunities financially, which I don’t. I am on a tourist visa. I can take courses, but I am not allowed to work. I have savings, but I’m not making anything. This might sound silly. Little things. Even having a car. An hour walk, instead of a five minute drive.
This year, I will have 4 months in Revy and 8 months in Chile, make money for savings doing ski patrol, heli guiding, teaching avalanche courses, and anything else that I can. They feed me and give me a place to stay, so I have no expenses.
Where do you get your energy from, to keep going, even when it is difficult? I asked.
Something super simple: meteorite screen saver on my phone. It is like a picture of loved ones in your wallet; it’s where I can’t to go. I can have access to it at any time. On hard days, I can look at it, and it reminds me of where I am going. This screensaver on my phone reminds me of why I am here, and why I am going through this. If it doesn’t work, and I have to go back home, it’s fine. But for now, it is fuel to keep me going.
Another Tragedy — And Turning Point
I’m at a point where I need to respect myself. The pictures in my wallet are a great reminder (see above). There is a story about this:
When I was living in Rome, doing architecture, I was in a bike accident. I was riding back home, and I almost got ran over by a car. I broke my jaw, and I almost died. My mouth was wired shut. It was pretty big, and I couldn’t do much. I couldn’t read or do anything. I would just go for long walks around the city.
I had these pictures in my wallet, of the mountains. Andes, Alaska, the mountain range. I was escaping my circumstances, depressed, dragging my feet, trying to come back to life after a big incident. My mom was visiting me, and she was worried about me: “It can’t be just about mountains! There must be other things” She was worried. I was also having trouble with my partner at the time who wanted to get married and have kids. I didn’t want to have kids and have them play on the sidewalk! Garbage and cars. I wanted to give them what I was given, at least. When I have kids, I want to live in nature somewhere. Somewhere they can just drop their skis out of the front door and go, like I did.
Everything that happened, this big event, made me re-think everything. I couldn’t even talk about it, my mouth was wired together! I don’t want to get to that point where we are forced to change things in the heart way. It has been a lesson I have learned so far.
I was back to climbing after five months. Initially, I was super scared, but then the fear went away. It really helped me to finish my college degree. It was a big change, and it made me decide to go back to the mountains. The city wasn’t a good place for me.
Future
I want kids , and I want to be with a partner and have a sense of belonging. After my parents are gone, I want to be with someone who will be that support system, before I lose the one that I have. It would be great if they could meet each other, my partner and my parents. Then when I am missing them, that moment of introduction would be like medicine.
If you were successful at this journey in life, and people are at your funeral, what would you want them to be able to say about you? I asked.
It was fun hanging out with me, and they could call me anytime. I was right there for anything — even strangers.
The messy looking guy with long hair, beard, skiing all the time and doing crazy stuff.
Fun to hang out with, and a strong athlete in the mountains. Conservative, though, not too crazy. I calculate my risks, it’s not that I’m suicidal! I like people to see that.
Hard worker (not to be highlited, tho!). Good friend and partner. Very present.
Closing Remarks
I need to be more fun and laugh more, for sure. Be light hearted, smile more, and be lighter. That will be a lifetime thing, laugh more, definitely. Things can then get easier around you.
Also, don’t get stuck. Keep moving.
I again must say, that I am blessed that Hector granted me an interview. His upbringing, his struggles, and his losses all come together forming a beautiful journey that is anything but easy. However, it is a journey that he is committed to and is passionate about. I believe we can all learn about how passion, patience and perseverance can pay off in the end.
I know I can.
