New Year — New Hope
It is hard to fathom that nearly three years have passed since Covid first entered our lives. Now what?
I remember when we first started hearing about this strange illness in China, but honestly at that point I thought that like many other world wide issues, it wouldn’t affect us (me). When that terrible incident aboard the cruise ship was happening, I was actually skiing in Japan. That was February of 2020.
Boy was I wrong.
I barely returned from my trip to Japan, and the world began shutting down. I was actually again skiing, this time at Cypress Mountain, on Sunday March 15, 2020, when they announced that the hill was now closed. Go home. The Crazy Raven apres ski is closed too (what?? I always go there after I ski?!) Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
No one then had any idea how long this terrible intruder would last. Surely by the end of summer we will back to normal? Maybe by Christmas? Nope, not for a long time. If ever.
So here we are three years later, still trying to recover and identify how this has affected us all. More importantly, what we can bring forward. I have often said in my practice that the only thing worse that going through a tough time is doing it and not learning a darn thing about yourself. I believe that reflection and reinvention are an important part of growth.
Here are a couple of my takeaways from the last three years. Perhaps you will be able to identify with some of them, or indeed come up with some of your own.
One. I was way too busy trying to keep all the balls in the air. So busy, I didn’t even notice how burnt out I was. I was the walking dead. The pandemic made way for a slowing that I desperately needed, but didn’t know it. I actually thrive on busyness and problem-solving, so going full speed ahead was fairly normal for me. With a forced slowing, I have been able to recalibrate my nervous system, and focus more on what I want to do instead of what I should do.
I once saw a video of a famous theorist, Albert Ellis, who was on stage doing a presentation. He was talking about how we need to stop “should-ing on ourselves” and “musterbating”. I should do this, or I must do that. What about what I really want to do, or need to be doing, to properly take care of myself? What a novel concept. This always stuck with me, even while I was falling prey to it. Great advice.
Two. I have always prided myself on being the ultimate non-judgemental soul. Live and let live. I sucked at this during the pandemic. I had very little patience for difference of opinion. I am embarrassed about this.
As I explored my own failure in this regard, and possibly why the world seemed to be much less friendly and compassionate, I wrote a very “heady” blogpost back in May. I think I did a good job of summarizing why we may be so polarized these days, causing the divisiveness that is plaguing families, communities, and nations. If you have read it already, give it another try. If you haven’t, it’s pretty good (if I do say so myself!).
Three. It is never too late to reinvent yourself, or go back to school. Prior to Covid, I didn’t think moving while still needing to work was possible for me. As a therapist, I thought I would have to start all over again if I moved, hang up a shingle, and start a new practice in a new community. Remote work has opened up a new world for myself, and millions around the globe. Reinventing yourself could look like a major move like I did, or something more simple like changing your priorities, or how you respond to others. Reinvention is an ongoing project!
Going back to school and taking courses has been challenging, but super rewarding. I thought for sure I would be the oldest in the classroom after a twenty year hiatus, but I was not. Many people return to academia to upgrade, stave off cognitive decline, or to re-train for a new career. Whatever the reason may be, there are many benefits. I have improved my writing skills, met new people, had interesting conversations, and opened new doors for new ideas. All good.
It is interesting to think we know ourselves, who we are, and what we want — until disaster strikes. This quote is well worth pondering on that front:
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy.” — — Martin Luther King Jr.
