Are you a stimulation junkie?

Learn how to just be

When we talk about ‘addiction’, we think of drugs, right? Alcohol, nicotine, cocaine… but drug addiction is symptomatic of a craving for stimulation - and a fear of an empty, unaroused mind. Drugs are certainly one of the most intense and dangerous forms of stimulation, but masturbation, mobile phone games, chewing gum, TV, coffee, nail-biting, messaging, shopping, snacking and listening to music all fall under the same category.

In my previous post, I talked about how phone usage inhibits our capacity to be mindful. Well, now I’m drawing your attention to the bigger picture; your mobile phone is just one example of the many sources of pleasure and stimulation which we are addicted to.

We are all stimulation junkies to some degree; modern life has shaped us that way. It is difficult to be mindful in a world so centred around communicating, entertaining, enjoying, buying, achieving, and fundamentally, around doing. Consumerism satisfies and then stokes our inherent, psychological need for more: more things, more enjoyment, more pleasure — which should not be confused with happiness.

I believe some of us are wired as stimulation addicts more than others: what you might call ‘addictive personalities.’ I’m one of them. My mind and body are drawn to anything which provides me with instantaneous pleasure and gratification, or a quick buzz: anything which enhances my enjoyment of life. I’m not an unhappy person. I possess a wonderful zest for life and I seek to make the most of every moment. But I struggle to stave off the incessant craving for more.

If I’m cooking dinner and enjoying the moment, my mind will go: A glass of wine would be just perfect. I masturbate or have sex with my boyfriend pretty much every day. I get through a hell of a lot of fruit juice, because I love its glorious taste. I fill silences with music. I don’t smoke, but I struggle to say no if someone offers me a cigarette at a party.

Stimulation isn’t an escape for me, which means it is difficult to acknowledge that it could be a problem, but I want to learn how to enjoy more moments of calm and quiet when I am not stimulated, and be satisfied with just being. Meditation is a great place to start. I guess my addictive personality is partly why I embarked on my mindfulness journey. This article in itself is a recognition, an expression of my desire to improve myself.

I am not suggesting that we all lead a bland life of staunch sobriety, celibacy and isolation. Of course not. Stimulation isn’t all bad; pleasure and enjoyment are an incentive, a way to wind down and relax. Moderation is key — like with any drug. Don’t always turn on the TV in autopilot mode. Don’t always put on music to feel the silence. Don’t snack when you’re bored. There is no need to fill every minute of every day with stimulation; instead, think, reflect, meditate, or take a walk. The goal should be to enjoy more deliberate moment of not doing anything. If you think over your daily routine, you will see these moments are few and far between.

Look at other animals (yes, other; we are animals too!). They spend long stretches of time each day just sitting, and staring, and being. Think of a blackbird chilling on a branch, or your dog sitting contentedly in the sun. True, animals lack the emotional and mental capability to reflect and ponder (lucky them?), but it goes to show that it is natural to spend moments doing nothing at all.

A set of experiments published in the July 2014 edition of Science reveal our intense aversion to such moments. The premise of the research was to have students stow away all of their belongings, including their smartphones, and spend between 6 and 15 minutes alone in a room with nothing to do but think. Afterwards, the researchers asked them how much they enjoyed the experience. Almost half of the participants reported not to enjoy it, with most people claiming that they found it difficult to concentrate. But the most seemingly absurd finding was that, when instructed to simply entertain themselves with their thoughts and given the option of administering themselves a mild electric shock if they so wished, 67% of men and 25% of women voluntarily gave themselves at least one shock.

So some of us would prefer the distraction of physical pain to confronting the inner workings of our minds… Stimulation is ultimately a distraction from introspection. Stimulating ourselves is a defensive action, rooted fundamentally in a fear of facing our rawest, naked self — or perhaps of emptiness.

Meditation is an obvious way to experience moments without stimulation, but mindfulness can be applied in a more everyday sense too. Simply sit down and let your thoughts run free with nothing to focus on, or take fifteen minutes before bed each night where you do nothing at all. We need to teach our minds and bodies to be content without stimulation. It might be difficult at first — in the same way that giving up cigarettes is difficult — but it will be hugely beneficial for your long-term happiness.

Instead of constantly striving for more and subconsciously bowing to the creed of consumerism, you can find a pure sense of contentment with the present moment.

You can learn how to just be.