Attachment vs. Love: Understanding the Difference.

Elephant Journal
Mindful Love, Loss, & Lust
5 min readNov 2, 2022

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Flickr/Christian Lauer

Love is often confused with attachment.

We stay in destructive relationships because love is worth fighting for. Oftentimes, we fight because of our attachment — not really for love.

I’ve lost count how many times I thought I was in love. To be honest, I didn’t really understand attachment until I experienced its opposite.

Realizing we’re attached — and not really in love — is freeing. Occasionally, we know that we’re not experiencing love, but we might be too scared to admit it, because realizing that we’ve been kidding ourselves all along isn’t a desirable feeling.

However, coming to terms with our attachment to others puts an end to our suffering, and it also helps us to recognize attachment in the future.

Attachment isn’t an inherent trait within us. It’s something that develops with time and morphs into something that’s entirely different than love. The transformation is so swift that we commonly miss it.

Love comprises the essence of attachment at its core — however, it’s innate and healthy. This kind of attachment is also present in our relationships with our family and friends. It’s more of a natural bond that’s designed to keep people connected. On the other hand, the bond that exists in toxic…

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Elephant Journal
Mindful Love, Loss, & Lust

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